Tag Archive for 'my life'

Happy birthday, dad

Today was my dad’s birthday. He would have been 59 had he not left us for his home up above in the heavenly skies eight years back. My dad was born Youngden Norbu Dorjee in a remote village called Kewzing, South Sikkim, the eldest of eight children. He once told me that there had been another Youngden in his school so he chopped off his first name to “Young” and thats how he became – Young Norbu Dorjee, forever young at heart!

He finished his primary education in Kewzing’s government school where the teachers used to teach them their ABC’s like this: “A bhan” which means ”say A” in Nepali. So the entire primary students used to chant – “A bhan!”. This was followed by “B bhan” and the students on auto pilot chanted “B bhan!” You get the idea.

My late grandfather had been the mandal of the village. This translates to being the headman/ head honcho/ Big Boss of the village, give or take. My dad used to tell us stories about their old wooden house being burnt to the ground once during election time when the then chief minister didn’t take very kindly to their support of the opposition – you know, like those old pot-broilers of politically challenged Bollywood movies. Thankfully no one got hurt and the entire family shifted to a different location and constructed a new house in which my cousins and I spent many years of our childhood together. When I went back to attend a family gathering some years back, I was amazed to see the old house, which somehow seemed so big to me back then, was actually a modest two storied wooden building somehow remembered to be larger than life by all those childhood memories.

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Mommy diaries

Alternatively, \m/ for mommy

You know you are almost a stranger to your own blog when you forget your username and password. Blame it on the post 33 grey cells (yes, THIRTY THREE! And to think I once lamented turning 28!) And in case anyone was wondering, this is exactly how we grow old.

Being a mommy to a two and half year old means a whirlwind of activities most of which involve having to wipe instant crocodile tears and dancing along with Mickey freaking Mouse and his friends on TV. I sometimes find myself humming cartoon show tunes at work and quickly stop before anyone realizes I am a huge Doraemon fan. Who wouldn’t love a robot from the future sent back in time by the creator to improve the quality of life of his 10 year old great, great grandfather! I could use a robot slave or two myself right now.

Not that I want to indulge in Baby Olympics but Lee can now recite the entire English as well as Hindi alphabets and has recently learnt how to write ‘A’. I find this incredible because as a kid, I played throughout the year during nursery, learned big alphabets in LKG and small alphabets only in UKG! So now we have the walls of our house covered in weirdly misshapen A’s – let me tell you – whoever paints their house in anticipation of a child is really just throwing money down the drain!

These toddlers seem to live on air and biscuits, I swear. Feeding time is a battle in itself and so is night time. Today, I had to spend exactly an hour trying to put her to sleep when she was willing to anything but sleep. Bedtime rituals involve telling the story of “The TV and that fan and that table and the lizard on the wall” and almost anything she can spot in the night light. Sometimes I doze off and she in turn sings me a lullaby, “Hush lil mummy, don’t say a word…”. I have to try not to laugh out loud or else she’s up in an instant and up to her wide-awake tricks such as shaking head and shoulders, pretty much Exorcist-style.

It has been years since I have been to watch a movie and have forgotten how pop corn tastes like. The last one I watched had been Avatar which means the exiled humans have reached halfway back to earth by now. Also, contrary to popular belief, its not because of motherhood that I have stayed away from blogging much to the disappointment of my reader(s). Its just that I’m plain lazy. Therefore, I will:

(a) Either continue writing on random topics henceforth, as and when I can; or

(b) See you all in another year

… whichever is sooner.

Yours, to take the Mickey

Rinchen \m/

 

Vacation – 2010

Auroville beach - December 2010

I love the beach. As I walked on the warm sands of Auroville beach, I realized that it took me 10 years to come back to the ocean. Imagine. How in the world did I ever let that happen? This does not bode well. Pencilling in “New year 2012 at Goa” immediately before I forget. Also waiting for Sidin Vadakut to reply once again to my email but I guess thats pushing it too far.

So back in August this year, I had been wondering where to spend my precious winter vacation. Precious because this was my first vacation post baby girl Lee as well as post M-Tech 1st semester, my brain had sufficiently stopped working and needed a kickstart in order to usher in the next semester. Oh yes, the M-tech thing. We go further back to May this year.

I was happily on my long extended maternity leave when a colleague suggested applying for further studies from July at SMIT, Majhitar. It all seemed impossible at that time, what with going back to studies after (gasp) 9 years and that too, with a baby and (gasp gasp) I still hadnt got a maid to help around the house. But like all good movies, everything started to fall back into place and before long, I gathered enough courage to leave my baby with the maid at home while I went about gallivanting around for stuff like work and studies.

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My life in numbers

Okay, lets start with a tag from Indian Pundit which I have procrastinated long enough. Numbers that reveal secrets about me. Hmmm… difficult, very difficult. I have re-written this time and time again because I’m not so, erm, good at revealing secrets and that too, about myself.

ONE: I am a one-handbag woman. Unlike other fashionable ladies, I will carry my purse with me to the grave, if it hasnt been torn, mutilated or made fun of by certain people around me.

TWO: I would like to have two children.

THREE: Or make that three.

FOUR: I can speak four languages; I’m a bit rusty at the fourth one but still, I cant help but show off. Its always been that way.

FIVE: I have five really good friends. I get along with these girls like a house on fire.

I owe my college degree to one, share memorable school experiences with the second (reunited by Orkut, thank you so much), can almost out-drink the third (though she also beats me in scrabble and crossword), am younger by a year to the fourth so there’s always someone older than me whose birthday sort-of eases me in to the next higher digit; and finally the fifth with whom I share my lunch these days and we have the most marvellous time talking about each and everything under the sun. And also, its never gossip when we ‘talk’, btw.

SIX: Its been six years that I’ve been working in the same place. I cant imagine doing anything else. Not counting winning that lottery and then anyone can shove this job up anywhere, frankly speaking.

SEVEN: Its my lucky number. No, its not, you just want to get this number over with because you cant think of anything else to write. Oh, shut up! *You* shut up! No, you! No, you! Oh, real mature! Oh, what’s the point?

EIGHT: Eight of my finger nails are nice and long. One of my old friend once remarked that if there was a title she could invent, she would call me “Miss Hand” (imagine!). But my thumb nails are short and flat and not at all nice to look at. There, I said it. One of my deepest secrets, finally revealed.

NINE: 09 has been a good year. I’d hate to see it pass. Or maybe not. Lets wait and see, shall we?

Okay, I now tag everyone who thinks this tag was easy enough to do. And that, my friend – is you.

Oh lazy brain

Many people asked me as to why I havent written anything in my blog till now. And by many people, I mean at least 3. I replied, “I dont have anything to write about”.

In retrospect, is that really true? Have I nothing to say left anymore? That cant be right since I havent stopped chattering nineteen to the dozen, 24X7 and dont seem to run out of ideas vocally. So why should typing be a different story?

I have resolved to stop playing silly online games that sap up my online time as well as my train of thoughts which leave me no time to do precious little. Let the dust cloths be pulled off this poor blog and may no one suffer from sneezing allergies as we do so.

Brain, I command you to write – starting NOW.

In dog years, I’m dead

thirty

Today is the last day I will be able to say I am 29. There are very few instances in life when one wants time to stand still and I figure this is definitely one of them. Its surreal leaving the 20′s behind and turning old is cruel, nay excruciatingly painful. Who knew this day would one day arrive.

I was ranting about the very same thing to a friend of mine who had an interesting thing to say: 30′s are the best years of one’s life. According to him, the 20′s are when you’re discovering yourself; maybe experimenting with things, pleasant or otherwise. And a whole lot of drama naturally involved.

On the contrary, the 30′s are when you’ve accepted who you are and you finally learn to make peace with yourself. You know what you want and dont; and basically live life as per your choices and no one else’s.

This made a lot of sense to me. And if at all, what he says is true, I can stop fussing about a number that decides how old I should be because facebook says I’m mentally only 13.

Here’s to three decades well spent. I didnt want to turn 30 but looks like time had other plans!

To being thirty. And (hopefully) stopping the count at that and no, I dont mean anything drastic like dying within this year.

30 and none the wiser. And we shall live happily ever after.

Singtam

You know, you live in a place for about 5 years and it finally and surprisingly grows on you. I know most people assume that I live in Gangtok since I blog from Sikkim. Nope. Gangtok is about an hour further up north from the place I live in, which is called Singtam. When I first joined work and saw, yes with my own two eyes, this… this dump of a place, the only thought I had was – how the hell do people live in a place like this???

The main market was infested with taxis and the temperature was soooo hot that I nearly melted. Gangtok, on the other hand has a divine climate that makes the entire place centrally air conditioned, as my dad used to say. Singtam, on the other hand was filled with vehicles passing through, villagers in their sunday best come out to do their weekly shopping, alleys filled with a peculiar stench that just wouldnt quit, with – ugh – little eating shacks right next to all the dirt. 

Whose number only preceded by uncountable number of booze shops, (to one of which some of us would be loyal customers for life) Maybe the worst piece of news I’d heard about this place was that it was a haven for crimes. Burglary, murder, take your pick. I had made up my mind then and there that I would commute from Gangtok rather than stay in such a place.

Stay, that I did. Made a lot of new friends and neighbours. Visited the police station on a regular basis. Once the institute bus had a major accident with a biker chap and since I was on the bus at that time, I was the witness by default. Another time, a burglary occurred at my new apartment although the theft was recovered the next day itself. So yes, I made a lot of friends at the police station. Psychologically, it made me feel more secure.  

Til date, I dont know a lot of people in town. The ones who know me as Rinchen mam, from XYZ Institute give me warm smiles which probably translates into – please pass my son/daughter/nephew/relative, good lady. I smile back at them and find it amusing that this is such a small place where everyone knows everyone else.

Two people who meet me in the market and dont let me leave are – my former sweeper, safaikarmachari as they’re called these days. Rawat bhaiya goes on and on relegating stories about bhabhi, mine – not his. I always know the next words coming out of his mouth will be – please give her some work in your office. 

The other guy’s the parking ticket collector. Previously I used to dodge such people in the hope of saving 5 bucks but when I found out that he’s my former maid’s brother, I offer him a little cash once in a while. He always wants me to go to his home and meet his sister and her little kid. Oh and he also doesnt give me a parking ticket anymore. Which is nice.

Then there’s my regular shopkeeper who’s always happy to see me. He probably sees dollar signs where I’m standing because he says things like – please come in, madam, come in. Please take anything you want. Its your own shop. His shop’s name is Fruit Shop. So is the next door’s and the remaining shops after that. I’ve never seen a sign board outside declaring the actual name. Strange.

I’ve also gotten used to the temperature by now. It doesnt seem so bad now and I have begun to hate Gangtok’s bitter wintry cold. Somehow Singtam feels more home to me than my actual home of Gangtok. Its not as advanced as the capital city but its a place where everyone knows my name. Thats reason enough for me. I’ve come to love the place I once could not stand. Stranger things have happened.

Strange element of narcissism

The previous Love Tag had my friends answer a common question - What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

Well, I guess I’m very happy with all the answers I got to read what they feel about me. Take a look:

Do I have to answer this? Rinchen is my chaddi-buddy yaar. We went to school together and were neighbors. She has always been that wild child! But ironically, leads a life of one tamed lecturer these days. Might get over that and turn into a wild bureaucrat soon though. Fingers crossed!!!

Heh – all true, I’m afraid. Every single word. Tamed lecturer??? Hahaha… I would like to see an untamed one. And I’m hoping for that bit about a wild bureaucrat to be true too.

She’s different from everyone else I know! She’s one of a kind. She’s a little weird in a curious way and I’ll never be able to predict her actions. :)

And I think there’s a totally different person buried deep inside the exterior she’s been showing to everyone in this world.

Cant disagree. Thanks to you, I’m going to have to reflect on the last sentence and ponder over it deeply… Though I like that bit about being different and one of a kind. And being unpredictable is spot on. You know me very well, dont you? :)

I like Ringchen. I know in first person her humility, intelligence, sense of humor and Captainship. HATS OFF TO MY DESKMATE.

Aww… Times like these, I want to go back in time and hug my desk mate in the middle of a long, boring lecture involving electrical machine design. I wouldnt have been in so much of a hurry to finish college and grow older if I knew that our path would rarely cross again after that.

I have known Rinchen for so many years. She was my senior in school, but we never interacted. But now that we have, I think she is a wonderful person,fun to be around, totally addicted to the internet :) ,very good with words. I think she can talk her way out of any difficult situation. 

Can I? Hahaha… That little trick comes in handy when I have a fire-breathing boss demanding for a specific piece of work that was due yesterday. Upon which, I buy a little time (yes, talking out my way) – LOG OUT OF THE INTERNET and then do that stupid work.

Rinchen, Shes witty, forthright and intelligent. So much I can tell from her writing and I love her blog! She also has good taste because we seem to have a lot in common.

This is the first time I’ve been told I have good taste. I love this compliment. Very much. Thanks, you all. You guys made my day :)

Stupidly fearless girl

As you grow older (and wiser perhaps: seems aging is mandatory, wisdom optional), you look back at all the things you used to do back when you were young and wonder how on earth are you still alive today to blog about it.

Me and a friend were talking about college days when we used to make the arduous journey from Sikkim all the way to different parts of South India which meant four days of very long travelling. Most of the times, we used to have other batch mates escorting us. But there were vacations such as Onam holidays for me during which they (the guys, if you could call them that) wouldnt want to travel back and forth in such a very short period of time; so they decided on staying back in Calicut.

I, on the other hand, HAD TO travel, even if I had to do it all alone, just so that I could come back home, stay for a couple of days and head back again. Stupidity number one.

Once, I traveled all the way till Calcutta along with other friends. They reached their destinations and went home happily. My connecting overnight train to Sikkim was at 6 pm and I remember one very decent batch mate worried about how I would wait all alone in the platform. I exclaimed – Come on! I’ll wait in the ladies waiting room – its no big deal, yaar! Thats when he informed me that I was standing in the wrong railway terminal in the first place. Stupidity number two.

He kindly escorted me to the other platform, which was miles(?) away from the previous one and he finally had to take off since I had hours to kill before the train arrived. His face was all scrunched up with worry while I laughingly waved him goodbye.

Six pm came and went – I had already left the ladies waiting room and was in the platform waiting for the stupid train to show up. Night fell and everything started becoming dark. There I sat on the platform, propped up on my rucksack, reading a book while porters in their red uniform and other creatures eyed me quizzically till 11 pm. Thats when the train finally showed up and I took the upper side berth to promptly fall asleep. Needless to say, I reached home in one piece.

Looking back, I kind of fear for my own safety and thank god nothing happened to me. During that particular journey and so many others after that.  I cant imagine traveling alone right now. I need an escort to reach me till the train bathroom – thats how much I’m scared to death, honestly speaking.

I guess thats what age does to you. It makes you aware of how fearless you once were.

My dad

Me and my dad werent always best of friends. If anything else, we probably fought more as father and daughter than normal enemies would have in their lifetime. He had a terrible, terrible temper – the very same one that has been passed on to me, I’m afraid. People would literally be afraid to be near him whenever he used to be in one of his moods. Which was pretty often.

We once had a lousy argument regarding the small kid who was the servant’s sister (who used to stay with us). Something pissed him off and he went berserk. Thats when I sprang in defense of the little kid. One thing led to another and we yelled pretty much hard at one another. Before the rest of the family realized what had happened, I packed up my bags and stormed out of the house. I walked a while before I realized that I actually had nowhere to go. Then I went sobbing to my aunt’s house; thank god she took me in and I stayed with her for two days before we made peace and I could go back home.

He wasnt always all that bad though. He never lay a finger on me or my brother while growing up. Now, the kind of person I am – you’d want to do me bodily harm if you got the chance. In that sense, I am really my father’s daughter. He also gave me a lot of space as an individual. I remember he used to hand me my letters, whenever I used to get any, intact and unopened. On the contrary, my mum used to open them, read and then demand an explanation for each of the sentence the other person had written.

When I first left home to study in Kerala, he accompanied me and by the time we reached Calicut, I remember him whispering to me – Where on earth did you choose to study, my daughter! The distance eventually did us both good since we werent in each other’s faces to scream at one another any more. The love between us just grew more and more because distance indeed made both our hearts grow fonder.

When I decided to get married, he didnt approve of it because of the differences between our religion, caste and what not. Like an adamant brat, I went ahead and eloped because after all, youth does deem itself invincible. The first time me and my husband entered my house, my dad had tears in his eyes as he made us sip milk from a bowl with his own hands, as was the custom.

It has been two and a half years since he passed away. And I miss him terribly. There’s no one left to get mad at and no one to love either. I dont know why but I suddenly thought of him after a long time. Its ironic how you realize the value of the other person only when they’re not around.

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