Tag Archive for 'gatherings'

It aint no picnic

I’ve lost all enthusiasm about going for picnics. Today was the annual office picnic and although I have been attending these since I’ve joined, I gave this year a miss. Many people asked me why. I just didnt feel like going this year.

The funny thing is I always give this theory when people act pricey about attending social events especially when they’re expected to be present. The theory goes something like this:

There are some people (in this world) who will always say that they wont be going and the rest have to beg, plead, cajole and whine for them to finally consent. That is only if the following sentences are uttered – Come on, it will be no fun without you. Please come, it wont be the same. And so on and so forth.

Theory not applicable here, of course.

The definition of a picnic isnt a fun event for me anymore. I dont know what kind of picnics you guys go to but the ones I end up in usually involve a group of people playing cards from 10am till 5pm. Last year, the winner made about 4000 rupees by the end of the day. A worthy task indeed and much boasted about till this date. Another group of people will be dancing for approximately the same period of time, watched by The Audience who probably dont know how to play cards and dont know how to dance either, in my opinion.

And before anyone asks, I belong to the dancing category.

And there is one teetotaller who will be given the most important job of being the bartender. He will be immensely popular that day and will be everybody’s friend as long as the drinks keep coming. The moment the bar closes, he runs for his life and a commotion is guaranteed at the empty bar.

Happens every year.

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Dont know, dont care

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I hate family gatherings. The last time I was in the midst of one, at least six people commented on the way I looked, talked or even breathed for all I knew. They had a gala time being boisterous and smart mouthing about most things which they’d never be able to say out loud in the real world, at least thats what I inferred.

Almost every person beckoned me over and asked – Did you recognize me? Heck, I dont even recognize the same person I met six months back and we’re talking about years and years of reunion here. The only option was to bare my teeth and nod furiously saying – Of course I do! How can I forget.

For instance, I was summoned by someone who’s my great aunt, when in truth I couldnt tell the nature of our relationship to save my life. I walked up to her and a couple of her friends sitting inside, assumed what I felt was a respectable position and then started getting grilled about my life since I was born to 30 years hence.

Then suddenly, this lady at her right snorts out of the blue – Hah, now she doesnt recognize me! Do you know who I am? DO YOU!?!

I assured her that I didnt.

(I didnt want to start knowing her anyway since she seemed to get real angry by this point)

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