Tag Archive for 'about me'

Singtam

Published on September 30, 2008 in Life as it happens and Sikkim. 18 Comments Tags: , , , .

You know, you live in a place for about 5 years and it finally and surprisingly grows on you. I know most people assume that I live in Gangtok since I blog from Sikkim. Nope. Gangtok is about an hour further up north from the place I live in, which is called Singtam. When I first joined work and saw, yes with my own two eyes, this… this dump of a place, the only thought I had was – how the hell do people live in a place like this???

The main market was infested with taxis and the temperature was soooo hot that I nearly melted. Gangtok, on the other hand has a divine climate that makes the entire place centrally air conditioned, as my dad used to say. Singtam, on the other hand was filled with vehicles passing through, villagers in their sunday best come out to do their weekly shopping, alleys filled with a peculiar stench that just wouldnt quit, with – ugh – little eating shacks right next to all the dirt. 

Whose number only preceded by uncountable number of booze shops, (to one of which some of us would be loyal customers for life) Maybe the worst piece of news I’d heard about this place was that it was a haven for crimes. Burglary, murder, take your pick. I had made up my mind then and there that I would commute from Gangtok rather than stay in such a place.

Stay, that I did. Made a lot of new friends and neighbours. Visited the police station on a regular basis. Once the institute bus had a major accident with a biker chap and since I was on the bus at that time, I was the witness by default. Another time, a burglary occurred at my new apartment although the theft was recovered the next day itself. So yes, I made a lot of friends at the police station. Psychologically, it made me feel more secure.  

Til date, I dont know a lot of people in town. The ones who know me as Rinchen mam, from XYZ Institute give me warm smiles which probably translates into – please pass my son/daughter/nephew/relative, good lady. I smile back at them and find it amusing that this is such a small place where everyone knows everyone else.

Two people who meet me in the market and dont let me leave are – my former sweeper, safaikarmachari as they’re called these days. Rawat bhaiya goes on and on relegating stories about bhabhi, mine – not his. I always know the next words coming out of his mouth will be – please give her some work in your office. 

The other guy’s the parking ticket collector. Previously I used to dodge such people in the hope of saving 5 bucks but when I found out that he’s my former maid’s brother, I offer him a little cash once in a while. He always wants me to go to his home and meet his sister and her little kid. Oh and he also doesnt give me a parking ticket anymore. Which is nice.

Then there’s my regular shopkeeper who’s always happy to see me. He probably sees dollar signs where I’m standing because he says things like – please come in, madam, come in. Please take anything you want. Its your own shop. His shop’s name is Fruit Shop. So is the next door’s and the remaining shops after that. I’ve never seen a sign board outside declaring the actual name. Strange.

I’ve also gotten used to the temperature by now. It doesnt seem so bad now and I have begun to hate Gangtok’s bitter wintry cold. Somehow Singtam feels more home to me than my actual home of Gangtok. Its not as advanced as the capital city but its a place where everyone knows my name. Thats reason enough for me. I’ve come to love the place I once could not stand. Stranger things have happened.

Strange element of narcissism

Published on September 25, 2008 in I me & myself. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , .

The previous Love Tag had my friends answer a common question - What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

Well, I guess I’m very happy with all the answers I got to read what they feel about me. Take a look:

Do I have to answer this? Rinchen is my chaddi-buddy yaar. We went to school together and were neighbors. She has always been that wild child! But ironically, leads a life of one tamed lecturer these days. Might get over that and turn into a wild bureaucrat soon though. Fingers crossed!!!

Heh – all true, I’m afraid. Every single word. Tamed lecturer??? Hahaha… I would like to see an untamed one. And I’m hoping for that bit about a wild bureaucrat to be true too.

She’s different from everyone else I know! She’s one of a kind. She’s a little weird in a curious way and I’ll never be able to predict her actions. :)

And I think there’s a totally different person buried deep inside the exterior she’s been showing to everyone in this world.

Cant disagree. Thanks to you, I’m going to have to reflect on the last sentence and ponder over it deeply… Though I like that bit about being different and one of a kind. And being unpredictable is spot on. You know me very well, dont you? :)

I like Ringchen. I know in first person her humility, intelligence, sense of humor and Captainship. HATS OFF TO MY DESKMATE.

Aww… Times like these, I want to go back in time and hug my desk mate in the middle of a long, boring lecture involving electrical machine design. I wouldnt have been in so much of a hurry to finish college and grow older if I knew that our path would rarely cross again after that.

I have known Rinchen for so many years. She was my senior in school, but we never interacted. But now that we have, I think she is a wonderful person,fun to be around, totally addicted to the internet :) ,very good with words. I think she can talk her way out of any difficult situation. 

Can I? Hahaha… That little trick comes in handy when I have a fire-breathing boss demanding for a specific piece of work that was due yesterday. Upon which, I buy a little time (yes, talking out my way) – LOG OUT OF THE INTERNET and then do that stupid work.

Rinchen, Shes witty, forthright and intelligent. So much I can tell from her writing and I love her blog! She also has good taste because we seem to have a lot in common.

This is the first time I’ve been told I have good taste. I love this compliment. Very much. Thanks, you all. You guys made my day :)

The ‘Love’ Tag!

Published on September 21, 2008 in From here & there and I me & myself. 21 Comments Tags: , , , , , .

The rules for the tag are:

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 Tag 6 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.

1. If your lover betrayed you what would your reaction be?

I’m assuming its with a girl. So, initially, I’ll be too worked up screaming abuses and crying my heart out. I guess getting drunk is always an option. When I finally come to my senses, I’ll probably move out of the house and while I’m at it – take an undefined leave of absence from work and head to Hyderabad. My best friend’s been behind my back telling me to visit her for years now. 

What I’m trying to get at is this – life still goes on no matter who lives or dies or who stops becoming a part of it. Its all easy to say, I know but its going to be real crappy to actually live it. Hoping to not face it, at least not in this lifetime.

2. If you have a dream come true, what would it be?

After being aimless and goal-less for such a long time, I’ve never thought about this question at all. So I’m finding it very hard to answer it … ah, who am I kidding I’ll take - Rich and Famous, any day!

3. If you could, whose butt would you like to kick?

Ooh… I read Vidya’s answers and liked what she wrote. So I’m going to change my answer and say – I too would like to kick everyone’s butt at some point of time or other. And yes, I’d like to kick my own butt because I know that it is not physically possible for me to do so, even as truly I deserve some of it.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

How many zeros is that??? How much would that be in rupees??? Heh. I’ll blow it all up, if I get the chance. Travel around the world, gamble it on the casinos, buy a hotel like Burj Al Arab in Dubai (I hope a billion dollar covers it). Distribute the rest of it among my friends. Thats right – though no more Orkut friend requests, okay?

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?

Erm, she’s a girl so I guess not. The other guys who’re sort of best friends are too much brotherly sorts, so no go there either. Even if I had a best friend who was male and hot to boot, whats the use? In any case, I dont want my husband to be doing all the things I would’ve done in answer #1.

6. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?

As long as that someone spoils me rotten, as I expect him to, it’s okay with me both ways. Call me materialistic, I believe I dont care.

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?

I hate waiting. I cant stop fidgeting when I have to. Then I start cursing the late kates and even when they finally show up, I’m often spoiling the mood by griping about the whole thing. Love just flies out of the window at times like these.

8. If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?

Nothing. I secretly like innumerable people every week, attached or unattached. Acting upon it would hardly be the appropriate thing to do. So I grin and bear it till the next person comes along.

9. If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?

Child labour. Its so rampant everywhere yet we do nothing about it except for hire more children to do our dirty work perhaps.

10. Do you lie?

Everytime. I can live with it. However other people have a problem with it, for which the answer is to lie some more.

11. Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?

I dunno. Here? Still blogging, maybe. Unless I have to go run that expensive hotel I bought. If nothing else, I’d like to be happy. About living my life as I want. Happy to be alive and feel grateful for every single moment.

12. What’s your fear?

Losing people I love. Not being able to do things I want. Of horrific creatures coming out of the dark to haunt me. Being stagnant at work. Being bitter and cruel to others. My stupid anger. Being corrupt and hostile. The list goes on.

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

I like Gurpreet. I think she’s got an awesome sense of humour and I like reading her blog. She’s got a terrific daughter, Ruhi about whom I just love to read. If I have a daughter myself one day, I’d very much like her to be like Ruhi.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?

Heh. A minor re-write. I’d rather be married and rich. Like I am(?) right now.

15. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?

I’m more and more getting the impression that this questionnaire isnt meant for married people! Who would I pick? I guess this is the kind of time Inky Pinky Ponky  would be put to good use. 

16. Would you give all in a relationship?

All and more. I’m an extremist. I usually do everything or nothing at all. In any relationship for that matter. Its a different thing that I dont try to expect SO MUCH back in return. Thats just being delusional. The thing is – its better not to expect too much and be happy when you get something back at all.

17. Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?

Nope. I’ll carry that sting with me to the grave. Well, it actually all depends on my mood, truthfully. Whoever did that horrible thing would have to catch me in a good mood and see what happens. 

18. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?

I love being in a relationship. I’m too much independent for my own good, I know but I dont think I can do without my husband either. I loved being single before. Its so liberating not to be answerable to anyone and do whatever the hell you want to. I’m happy to have experienced both.

19. Your all time favourite song. Only ONE. And why?

Strong Enough by Sheryl Crow. I used to listen to this song while growing up. Makes me feel nostalgic. Plus, its one heck of a song, in my opinion.

20. I TAG these 6 people because…

Shaliya – cause she’s the kind of single girl I would have been if only. I’d love to hear her thoughts on this one.

GWBE – The Pri of the AnDePRin gang, the defunct cough syrup company. I’ve never seen her do tags so I’m happy this one is unavoidable.

Sree – I love the way she writes. I cant wait to see her post.

Shradha – I want to know what she thinks. 

Vidya - I would like to know what her answers would be.

Ansu – She’s on a long vacation right now. Does she have her work cut out for her when she comes back!

My dad

Published on September 11, 2008 in Good things and memoirs. Closed Tags: , .

Me and my dad werent always best of friends. If anything else, we probably fought more as father and daughter than normal enemies would have in their lifetime. He had a terrible, terrible temper – the very same one that has been passed on to me, I’m afraid. People would literally be afraid to be near him whenever he used to be in one of his moods. Which was pretty often.

We once had a lousy argument regarding the small kid who was the servant’s sister (who used to stay with us). Something pissed him off and he went berserk. Thats when I sprang in defense of the little kid. One thing led to another and we yelled pretty much hard at one another. Before the rest of the family realized what had happened, I packed up my bags and stormed out of the house. I walked a while before I realized that I actually had nowhere to go. Then I went sobbing to my aunt’s house; thank god she took me in and I stayed with her for two days before we made peace and I could go back home.

He wasnt always all that bad though. He never lay a finger on me or my brother while growing up. Now, the kind of person I am – you’d want to do me bodily harm if you got the chance. In that sense, I am really my father’s daughter. He also gave me a lot of space as an individual. I remember he used to hand me my letters, whenever I used to get any, intact and unopened. On the contrary, my mum used to open them, read and then demand an explanation for each of the sentence the other person had written.

When I first left home to study in Kerala, he accompanied me and by the time we reached Calicut, I remember him whispering to me – Where on earth did you choose to study, my daughter! The distance eventually did us both good since we werent in each other’s faces to scream at one another any more. The love between us just grew more and more because distance indeed made both our hearts grow fonder.

When I decided to get married, he didnt approve of it because of the differences between our religion, caste and what not. Like an adamant brat, I went ahead and eloped because after all, youth does deem itself invincible. The first time me and my husband entered my house, my dad had tears in his eyes as he made us sip milk from a bowl with his own hands, as was the custom.

It has been two and a half years since he passed away. And I miss him terribly. There’s no one left to get mad at and no one to love either. I dont know why but I suddenly thought of him after a long time. Its ironic how you realize the value of the other person only when they’re not around.

All about me

Published on August 30, 2008 in I me & myself. 8 Comments Tags: , , , .

I’ve been going through other people’s blogs and whenever I click on their About Me section, they’ve got a detailed page describing themselves – which I think is interesting to read.

Therefore, I thought it would be nice to write a post about myself. You know, general things like who actually I am – other than a female of the species supposedly deadlier than the male. The works. So this, apparently, is how I roll.

I was named after my father’s elder sister who passed away when she was quite young. We used to have an old black and white photo of hers in one of the albums and she looks just like my dad. Only maybe more prettier.

I’ve been a rebellious sort of kid and more so as I progressively grew up. The tales of my daring escapades would have to be printed in a book format and that too by the name of an anonymous author. No, its not that I think so highly of myself. Just being on the safer side. If there is one. Enough said.

I used to read and read and read when I was a kid, which earned me glasses by the time I was a teenager. Often when I meet people who knew me way back, they keep repeating the same thing time and again – You used to read SO MUCH when you were a kid, do you remember??? Yeah, like they’d let me forget. Plus, I still do read. I dont remember all what I’ve read but thats another story.

I think I’m very easy going and friendly. Other people, however find me a tad arrogant and domineering. I can act very childish and immature at times and as a result, I’m sometimes battling unnecessary cold wars with people I’d rather have a drink with. Stupid, really but inevitable unfortunately.

I dont like people who nag. I myself dont lecture people unless I’m being paid to enter the classroom and I dont think I can stand listening to ideals and virtues of being the perfect human being, which I’m apparently not. Whats more, I like being imperfect. Anybody having a problem with that can go eat Bart Simpson’s shorts.

I like to think of myself as a very chilled out, relaxed person. Of course, thats when I’m not being audited at work or being nagged about how to live my life. Thats when a shrewish version of me takes over and all hell breaks loose. I’ve taken a self-taught course on “You have only one life – live like there’s no tomorrow” and come to the conclusion – to do what you want and not have regrets, well not many anyway.

To quote Aamir Khan in some ad on TV, why would you want to learn from other people’s mistakes? Make your own! Hoping to do that and more or as I like to keep repeating, will die trying.

Things to do before I die

Published on August 16, 2008 in Favourite posts and Good things. 13 Comments Tags: , , , .

I’ve watched The Bucket List a couple of times by now. The movie’s about two old guys who have precious time left to live and make the-list-of-things-to-do before they finally kick the bucket, which for them was soon enough.

I, on the other hand, inspired by a brilliant movie and this one blog here – have taken it upon myself (and my poor blog) to compile a list of things that I want to do before I die. Even if I never really do these things, what the heck – its just a list, right? So here goes nothing.

1. Go skydiving. Ok, so this is on the list in the actual movie. You know whats not there in the actual movie? ME. Back to skydiving, there’s one small problem though. You see, I’m afraid of heights. Cant look down a five-storey building without feeling all dizzy. So that means, I’ll either have to sky dive with my eyes closed or I’ll probably be dead before I reach the ground. I must be crazy to put this on #1. Maybe it should go in the list of things to do that-make-you die instead.

2. Get a tattoo. Yes, this is in the movie too. And no, I’m not copying the original list word to word. I’m a big fan of Ami James in the Miami Ink series on Discovery Travel & Living. So, #2, with a little rewrite, will be – get an tattoo at Miami Ink at South Beach, Florida. Woo hoo!

3. Learn how to ride a bike. Yeah, poor me used to drive a three-wheeled cycle when I was a kid and was petrified of a bicycle while growing up. Still am. Hmm… I think I’ll have to look up google to see if they’ve got a word for fear of bicycle riding and add that to my resume.

4. Visit Disneyland. Ok, thats a little pathetic for a soon to be 30 year old, I know. But I cant help it. I used to be a big Disney Time fan when I was younger. My favourite character was Daisy Duck although I used to despise Winnie Mouse. I would like to meet them, yes… but I cant forget this incident five years ago – when I was strolling down Brigade Road and a huge, white suited astronaut came straight at me to shake my hand – thats when I ran screaming away for my life.

Of recent times, I visited a local cafe last Christmas and was greeted by a stick-thin Santa Claus with an enormous pot-belly. Surprisingly I ended up shaking his hand. Yay! I’m no longer afraid of imaginary characters!

I’m also poor at sticking to one topic, apparently.

5. Learn a foreign language. Preferably Spanish. I did try to learn this on my own earlier. Then, I lost my Learn Spanish book. Someone borrowed it “to see” and I promptly forgot the borrower’s name. I guess being able to say lo siento, solo hablas english (thats – I’m sorry, I speak only English) doesnt really qualify as being able to speak in Spanish. Whats more, I think it defeats the purpose.

6. Travel to Europe. “Around the world” would have sounded like such a cliche. Plus, I want to especially visit Austria for two reasons – Sound of Music and Mozart. And yeah, visit Spain and converse with the locals in their language. Why else would I have learnt spanish?

7. Win a lottery. I’m just kidding. If one could do that, this point would be on everyone’s to-do-list henceforth. What I’m actually doing is compensating the extra-long #4 by keeping this point short.

8. Learn to swim. I once nearly drowned in a kid’s pool. That too, while trying to teach one kid how to not be afraid of the water and swim instead. Ever since then, I’ve always been under this impression that if I do want a watery grave in the future, all I have to do is learn how to swim.

9. Write a book. I’ve met people who’ve told me that they’ll write a book, someday. And I used to think – so will I. That was 10 years ago. That person who said this to me is probably dead or too old to gather his wits to actually write by now. And since I havent read any book by his name, I assume that he’s not written it after all. I’d hate for it to be that way with me. So, even if no one reads my book or it doesnt get printed or I dont get famous and earn loads of cash, I’d like to leave a book behind when I finally kick the bucket. How awesome would that be!

Dirty words

Published on June 21, 2008 in Favourite posts, I me & myself and Life as it happens. 11 Comments Tags: , , , .

I woke up today morning at six thirty
Twenty nine seem like words so dirty
Now I’m watching Friends on TV
And the dog’s about to sing happy birthday to me

Before I went to bed last night
Two friends mellowed me; namely vodka and sprite
As a result, midnight missed calls reigned supreme
While I did surprising song sequences in my dream

The world still seems the same, only I have aged
Even as a sea of turmoil inside me raged
I’m going to miss being twenty eight
I feel like a perfect fisherman’s bait

How quickly did all these years pass by
Half a lifetime flits in a blink of an eye
Much as I hate it, I’m growing old
I’m panicked and nervous – hey, I’m not that bold!

My aunt called me to wish me the other day
At 71, she’s feisty and spirited – that I can sure say
She refused to believe I was twenty nine
I laughed to hear her echo thoughts exactly like mine

I then wondered, if I really have to grow older by the year
Like her, I’d at least live life to the fullest – no fear
I suppose I should be thankful I’m not thirty
I stand corrected – those are the words most dirty

I am not your Auntie

Published on January 22, 2008 in Favourite posts and No good. 17 Comments Tags: , , , , .

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A painful memory vexed me into writing this post. Please to not gauge my mood or sense of self depreciation by this one post only.

You think you’re respecting me by calling me this name – but I have news for you. I dont need no respect and I dont need anyone reminding me I am getting older by the day: I am not your auntie.

You think by bumping into me or stepping on my toes, you’re doing the right thing by apologizing profusely, therefore calling me this name – but I dont need no apologies and I dont need anyone to put iodised salt on my wounds: I am not your auntie.

You think that if I help you get the right direction or pick up jetsam from your bag, you’d want to thank me by calling me this name – I dont need a fake relationship or an overgrown niece. Therefore, I am definitely not your auntie.

You think since you’re a teenager or someone emaciated enough to look like one, you qualify in calling all and sundry by this name – have I got a newsflash for you: sooner or later you would so understand what I’m talking about and I wait earnestly for that day.

So after evidently bearing the brunt of how it feels like to be on the other side of the early twenties, I take this opportunity to apologise all the people I myself called aunties and uncles while my brain had not fully developed 10 years back. I wish I myself had read something like this way back… I wouldnt have even dreamt of calling my own auntie one.

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