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People can think what they want

Published
by
Rinchen
on October 13, 2008
in Life as it happens and No good
. 12 Comments

I was at the bank sometime back and had nothing to do other than listen in on a most personal conversation between two women, well… due to lack of having anything else to do. They had just finished hugging and greeting each other in such a manner that it was safe to assume they hadn’t seen either in years. In the mean time, a kid kept tugging at one of the woman’s dupatta, wailing about something or the other.

The other, apparently older friend then proceeds to generally fawn over the little dumpling and after getting over with the mandatory cootchiecooing, she turned her attention back to the mother.

“So how many kids do you have? How old is this little tyke?”

“Oh, he’s five. And also an only child”

“Hmm… so you have ONLY one kid?? I guess thats okay too. But I hope you guys are planning to have at least one more kid, you know. After all, you’ve been married for what? Ten years now?”

Embarassed laughter. “I guess we could always try…”

“Yeah, well - you know what people say when you have only one kid…”

What do people say when you have only one kid??? Poor sperm count? That they were apparently lucky that one time and god knows if not for that, they’d be childless and lets not even go to that kind of situation?

This WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK syndrome, which is a common enough topic in India, doesnt just stop at that poor ONE kid. For all we know, its an offense to:

1. Be a spinster/bachelor after 30 perhaps.

2. Have a live in relationship.

3. Be a childless couple.

4. Get separated.

5. Get divorced.

6. Get re-married.

7. What else? Perhaps think for yourself too?

I knew a chronic bachelor who was hounded by matchmakers all over town in the hope that some lucky girl would one day snag him and cut short his freedom. Another friend of mine’s a happy go lucky 38 year old spinster who doesnt mind categorizing marriage at the bottom of her priority list.

P.S. What will people think, eh? Answer in  # 24 of http://ringchen.com/things-about-me

We were on a break

Published
by
Rinchen
on October 9, 2008
in Sikkim and Wanderlust
. 16 Comments

I had eleven days off from work, thanks to puja vacations. I decided not to grow roots at home and travel with friends instead. And that is how we headed off into the sunrise, since we started early morning at 7 am.

The exit road from my house till the main road is a steep uphill. Now many may wonder how it is that we actually navigate the vehicles out without getting killed everyday. Those who live here, like me, do the same - but only once a week if you must know.

As my friend sped the vehicle uphill, I yelled BODY WEIGHT agay (front) and not surprisingly, no one understood what to do. Well, you see a few years back, we were on an adventurous horse back riding trip up the steep, slush-filled hill slopes of Kufri, which was some kilometres after Shimla.

The horse guide walking in front screamed: body weight agay - after which we had to lean ahead. The call downhill was - body weight peechay! (back) and we had to lean backwards accordingly.

It was either lean or die laughing at that point of time. I leaned all right. Then felt sorry for the poor horse afterwards.

The day turned out to be quite pleasant. I like this pic here cause the sun had just risen and the whole image has different shades of blue for all contemplation. The bridge leads all the way to The Avenue. This is my favourite spot throughout the journey. 

The moment we reached there, I turned and before I could speak, my fellow passenger says - I know, The Avenue - a road which is lined with trees. I thought the I know part was stressed a bit sarcastically but I was too caught up to respond.

I think I forgot to add the Feel free to click on the pics for a larger view part in the beginning. I know most of you are smart enough to know that without me having to tell you. If nothing else, I know that I run the risk of those people getting pissed and wondering if they should stop visiting my blog for the insult. 

It may come as a surprise but I’ve recently learnt the arts of Changing The Topic When Needed Most. LOOK AT THE PRETTY PIC BELOW!

P.S. All the pics were taken from a moving car so the blur you see (if any) isnt intentional and most certainly is not bad photography, how dare you. Good trip, with Tiger and especially Stan Marsh from South Park behaving extremely well for a change.

Being bichara

Published
by
Rinchen
on October 3, 2008
in Musings et all
. 14 Comments

In nepali, this word means the same as it means in hindi - poor thing!

The occasion is dussehra holidays. We call it Dasai here in the local language. It’s a major festive event with loads of celebrating - eating, drinking and making merry. I called my maid today afternoon and we had this conversation.

Me: Here, I got you a few things for the dasai celebrations in your house.

She: Bichara, mam!!! There was no need…

Me: Dont be silly. Here’s a kilo of mutton for your family today evening. I know you cook fab so enjoy!

She: Bichara!!! Really, there was no need…

Me: And here’s a bottle of whiskey for your kind husband. Hope he likes it.

She: Bichara!!! Oh no… this is too much…

Me: Uff! I havent finished. Here’s a packet of gulab jamuns. These are for your children (she has four) I thought I’d get them something too.

She: Oh, you didnt have to take so much trouble… bichara…

Me: And last but not the least, here’s your salary for the last month. I’ve added some more cash so that you can go buy something nice you like.

She: Oh… oh… bichara…

Me: WILL YOU STOP SAYING BICHARA???

By the time she left (still saying bichara on her way out), I felt really sorry for myself.

Singtam

Published
by
Rinchen
on September 30, 2008
in Life as it happens and Sikkim
. 18 Comments

You know, you live in a place for about 5 years and it finally and surprisingly grows on you. I know most people assume that I live in Gangtok since I blog from Sikkim. Nope. Gangtok is about an hour further up north from the place I live in, which is called Singtam. When I first joined work and saw, yes with my own two eyes, this… this dump of a place, the only thought I had was - how the hell do people live in a place like this???

The main market was infested with taxis and the temperature was soooo hot that I nearly melted. Gangtok, on the other hand has a divine climate that makes the entire place centrally air conditioned, as my dad used to say. Singtam, on the other hand was filled with vehicles passing through, villagers in their sunday best come out to do their weekly shopping, alleys filled with a peculiar stench that just wouldnt quit, with - ugh - little eating shacks right next to all the dirt. 

Whose number only preceded by uncountable number of booze shops, (to one of which some of us would be loyal customers for life) Maybe the worst piece of news I’d heard about this place was that it was a haven for crimes. Burglary, murder, take your pick. I had made up my mind then and there that I would commute from Gangtok rather than stay in such a place.

Stay, that I did. Made a lot of new friends and neighbours. Visited the police station on a regular basis. Once the institute bus had a major accident with a biker chap and since I was on the bus at that time, I was the witness by default. Another time, a burglary occurred at my new apartment although the theft was recovered the next day itself. So yes, I made a lot of friends at the police station. Psychologically, it made me feel more secure.  

Til date, I dont know a lot of people in town. The ones who know me as Rinchen mam, from XYZ Institute give me warm smiles which probably translates into - please pass my son/daughter/nephew/relative, good lady. I smile back at them and find it amusing that this is such a small place where everyone knows everyone else.

Two people who meet me in the market and dont let me leave are - my former sweeper, safaikarmachari as they’re called these days. Rawat bhaiya goes on and on relegating stories about bhabhi, mine - not his. I always know the next words coming out of his mouth will be - please give her some work in your office. 

The other guy’s the parking ticket collector. Previously I used to dodge such people in the hope of saving 5 bucks but when I found out that he’s my former maid’s brother, I offer him a little cash once in a while. He always wants me to go to his home and meet his sister and her little kid. Oh and he also doesnt give me a parking ticket anymore. Which is nice.

Then there’s my regular shopkeeper who’s always happy to see me. He probably sees dollar signs where I’m standing because he says things like - please come in, madam, come in. Please take anything you want. Its your own shop. His shop’s name is Fruit Shop. So is the next door’s and the remaining shops after that. I’ve never seen a sign board outside declaring the actual name. Strange.

I’ve also gotten used to the temperature by now. It doesnt seem so bad now and I have begun to hate Gangtok’s bitter wintry cold. Somehow Singtam feels more home to me than my actual home of Gangtok. Its not as advanced as the capital city but its a place where everyone knows my name. Thats reason enough for me. I’ve come to love the place I once could not stand. Stranger things have happened.

Duh day

Published
by
Rinchen
on September 29, 2008
in No good
. 10 Comments

I’m extremely irritated at this point of time. I’ve sat in front of the computer the whole day and my eyes are watery and I’ve begun to get a mild headache that’s threatening to turn into a big one.

There was a bandh in the state today from 6 am to 6 pm, the first one in 10 years. As a result, I couldnt go out and do anything I wanted to. Not that I roam around like anything and keep doing things on a regular basis. But the idea of being confined to one space and not having the option to take off as I wanted to was a major reality check for me.

We take the notion of freedom of movement very lightly now that its been about 60 years of independence? Yet, when life comes to a standstill and you dont get to do the normal things that you take for granted, its a shock, nonetheless. 

To top it all, I deleted the previous post. Arrghh. I dont think I am in a fine mental state to type it all over again. My back hurts from sitting here all day and my moods worsens.

And I dont even want to go towards my state of writer’s block. Its been plaguing me for some time and I think I’m running short of things to write about in this blog. Brain function decreasing and oxygen suppy diminishes.

I… cant… see…

Strange element of narcissism

Published
by
Rinchen
on September 25, 2008
in I me and myself
. 0 Comments

The previous Love Tag had my friends answer a common question - What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

Well, I guess I’m very happy with all the answers I got to read what they feel about me. Take a look:

Do I have to answer this? Rinchen is my chaddi-buddy yaar. We went to school together and were neighbors. She has always been that wild child! But ironically, leads a life of one tamed lecturer these days. Might get over that and turn into a wild bureaucrat soon though. Fingers crossed!!!

Heh - all true, I’m afraid. Every single word. Tamed lecturer??? Hahaha… I would like to see an untamed one. And I’m hoping for that bit about a wild bureaucrat to be true too.

She’s different from everyone else I know! She’s one of a kind. She’s a little weird in a curious way and I’ll never be able to predict her actions. :)

And I think there’s a totally different person buried deep inside the exterior she’s been showing to everyone in this world.

Cant disagree. Thanks to you, I’m going to have to reflect on the last sentence and ponder over it deeply… Though I like that bit about being different and one of a kind. And being unpredictable is spot on. You know me very well, dont you? :)

I like Ringchen. I know in first person her humility, intelligence, sense of humor and Captainship. HATS OFF TO MY DESKMATE.

Aww… Times like these, I want to go back in time and hug my desk mate in the middle of a long, boring lecture involving electrical machine design. I wouldnt have been in so much of a hurry to finish college and grow older if I knew that our path would rarely cross again after that.

I have known Rinchen for so many years. She was my senior in school, but we never interacted. But now that we have, I think she is a wonderful person,fun to be around, totally addicted to the internet :) ,very good with words. I think she can talk her way out of any difficult situation. 

Can I? Hahaha… That little trick comes in handy when I have a fire-breathing boss demanding for a specific piece of work that was due yesterday. Upon which, I buy a little time (yes, talking out my way) - LOG OUT OF THE INTERNET and then do that stupid work.

Rinchen, Shes witty, forthright and intelligent. So much I can tell from her writing and I love her blog! She also has good taste because we seem to have a lot in common.

This is the first time I’ve been told I have good taste. I love this compliment. Very much. Thanks, you all. You guys made my day :)

The ‘Love’ Tag!

Published
by
Rinchen
on September 21, 2008
in From here & there and I me and myself
. 22 Comments

The rules for the tag are:

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 Tag 6 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.

1. If your lover betrayed you what would your reaction be?

I’m assuming its with a girl. So, initially, I’ll be too worked up screaming abuses and crying my heart out. I guess getting drunk is always an option. When I finally come to my senses, I’ll probably move out of the house and while I’m at it - take an undefined leave of absence from work and head to Hyderabad. My best friend’s been behind my back telling me to visit her for years now. 

What I’m trying to get at is this - life still goes on no matter who lives or dies or who stops becoming a part of it. Its all easy to say, I know but its going to be real crappy to actually live it. Hoping to not face it, at least not in this lifetime.

2. If you have a dream come true, what would it be?

After being aimless and goal-less for such a long time, I’ve never thought about this question at all. So I’m finding it very hard to answer it … ah, who am I kidding I’ll take - Rich and Famous, any day!

3. If you could, whose butt would you like to kick?

Ooh… I read Vidya’s answers and liked what she wrote. So I’m going to change my answer and say - I too would like to kick everyone’s butt at some point of time or other. And yes, I’d like to kick my own butt because I know that it is not physically possible for me to do so, even as truly I deserve some of it.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

How many zeros is that??? How much would that be in rupees??? Heh. I’ll blow it all up, if I get the chance. Travel around the world, gamble it on the casinos, buy a hotel like Burj Al Arab in Dubai (I hope a billion dollar covers it). Distribute the rest of it among my friends. Thats right - though no more Orkut friend requests, okay?

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?

Erm, she’s a girl so I guess not. The other guys who’re sort of best friends are too much brotherly sorts, so no go there either. Even if I had a best friend who was male and hot to boot, whats the use? In any case, I dont want my husband to be doing all the things I would’ve done in answer #1.

6. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?

As long as that someone spoils me rotten, as I expect him to, it’s okay with me both ways. Call me materialistic, I believe I dont care.

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?

I hate waiting. I cant stop fidgeting when I have to. Then I start cursing the late kates and even when they finally show up, I’m often spoiling the mood by griping about the whole thing. Love just flies out of the window at times like these.

8. If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?

Nothing. I secretly like innumerable people every week, attached or unattached. Acting upon it would hardly be the appropriate thing to do. So I grin and bear it till the next person comes along.

9. If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?

Child labour. Its so rampant everywhere yet we do nothing about it except for hire more children to do our dirty work perhaps.

10. Do you lie?

Everytime. I can live with it. However other people have a problem with it, for which the answer is to lie some more.

11. Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?

I dunno. Here? Still blogging, maybe. Unless I have to go run that expensive hotel I bought. If nothing else, I’d like to be happy. About living my life as I want. Happy to be alive and feel grateful for every single moment.

12. What’s your fear?

Losing people I love. Not being able to do things I want. Of horrific creatures coming out of the dark to haunt me. Being stagnant at work. Being bitter and cruel to others. My stupid anger. Being corrupt and hostile. The list goes on.

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

I like Gurpreet. I think she’s got an awesome sense of humour and I like reading her blog. She’s got a terrific daughter, Ruhi about whom I just love to read. If I have a daughter myself one day, I’d very much like her to be like Ruhi.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?

Heh. A minor re-write. I’d rather be married and rich. Like I am(?) right now.

15. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?

I’m more and more getting the impression that this questionnaire isnt meant for married people! Who would I pick? I guess this is the kind of time Inky Pinky Ponky  would be put to good use. 

16. Would you give all in a relationship?

All and more. I’m an extremist. I usually do everything or nothing at all. In any relationship for that matter. Its a different thing that I dont try to expect SO MUCH back in return. Thats just being delusional. The thing is - its better not to expect too much and be happy when you get something back at all.

17. Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?

Nope. I’ll carry that sting with me to the grave. Well, it actually all depends on my mood, truthfully. Whoever did that horrible thing would have to catch me in a good mood and see what happens. 

18. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?

I love being in a relationship. I’m too much independent for my own good, I know but I dont think I can do without my husband either. I loved being single before. Its so liberating not to be answerable to anyone and do whatever the hell you want to. I’m happy to have experienced both.

19. Your all time favourite song. Only ONE. And why?

Strong Enough by Sheryl Crow. I used to listen to this song while growing up. Makes me feel nostalgic. Plus, its one heck of a song, in my opinion.

20. I TAG these 6 people because…

Shaliya - cause she’s the kind of single girl I would have been if only. I’d love to hear her thoughts on this one.

GWBE - The Pri of the AnDePRin gang, the defunct cough syrup company. I’ve never seen her do tags so I’m happy this one is unavoidable.

Sree - I love the way she writes. I cant wait to see her post.

Shradha - I want to know what she thinks. 

Vidya - I would like to know what her answers would be.

Ansu - She’s on a long vacation right now. Does she have her work cut out for her when she comes back!