Archive for the 'Winkie' Category

My dog is no longer my dog

Published on August 20, 2008 in Life as it happens and Winkie. 13 Comments Tags: , , .

She’s a murderer. Or wait, is that supposed to be murderess?? Either way, I will never forget the turn of events on an otherwise ordinary monday morning…

I woke up late so I couldnt take my lab, Winkie out for her usual walk. So I let her outdoors to go do her dirty business otherwise, the house’s guaranteed to be in a stinking mess when I get back home in the evening.

Winkie took off but after a split second, I see her jumping after a chicken which materialized out of nowhere! Standing on my balcony, I didnt bother much cause the stupid dog’s prone to be overtly affectionate towards cats, goats, strays or anything that moves whenever she’s set loose.

However, this time to my horror, both chicken and dog dive headfirst into the bushes and after what seems like major struggling concealed by the plants, Winkie emerges with what looks like a dead chicken in her mouth.

I called or rather, screamed at the stupid dog (in ultrasonic frequency) to come home and she does, with her prize in the mouth. So thats how a highly idiotic dog and a chicken-that-was-breathing-faintly ended up in my living room while I was struggling to keep myself from screeching in (again) horror.

I called the cook and told her to oh-my-god! please, please-take-the-chicken-out-to-the-balcony but the moment she did, Winkie attacked it and snapped its neck, it seems.

We shut the dog and its hunt in the balcony, thinking wtf, she might as well eat it there but when I checked after 15 minutes, nope she was licking it instead. Guess she didnt know how to eat it, feathers and all.

So the cook got busy dressing the chicken and cutting it up after which I cooked it up with Winkie’s food. After meal time, all that was left behind was a clean plate and a lip smacking dog.

You know, I’m beginning to look at my dog differently now. She’s no longer going to be beaten with the same intensity that I used to before. I’m suddenly afraid of my own dog and I finally understand now why people cross the street when they see Winkie coming.

Where is Winkie?

Published on June 30, 2008 in Winkie. 10 Comments Tags: .

Apparently this was a search engine term that led to my blog some days back. Hahaha…

Well, Winkie – the bitch of a labrador pet of mine is in her last days of her second heat. Even as an assortment of stray dogs of every shape, size and colour have been haunting my neighbourhood for a shot of the pedigree import. Not a chance, I’m relieved to say.

There’s this one particular black and white stray dog thats like, one sixth of Winkie’s size – and one can but only admire the persistence with which he pursues the amorous female-dog in season. He’s like an honest watchdog forever guarding my balcony, hoping for the single moment when Winkie breaks loose and she can become his.

That stupid dog’s been sneaking up to my first floor apartment and resorted to peeing on the front door, oh how diabolical! And once, there was this accident in which, I believe he meant to pee but ended up dropping other solid stuff. Hahaha, stupid dog.

So thats where Winkie is, for the time being. Under house arrest. I wonder who wanted to know ;)

Winkie speaks

Published on February 23, 2008 in Favourite posts and Winkie. 18 Comments Tags: , , .

My name is Winkie. I am about 2 feet high and people usually seem to cross to the other side of the road as soon as they see me coming. I dont know why. I am friendly enough although I sometimes like to bark at random noises at equally random times not ruled by the clock. I can tell when its inopportune because thats when usually a slipper first comes hurling straight at me. Thats my cue to hush up or else a sleepy yet pissed being emerges out of bed to beat me up.

I spend most of my life staring at my owner while she spends most of hers ignoring me. Actually, she spends most of her life staring fixedly at an idiot box, while I can never imagine whats so important to keep her glued there for hours. I cant complain though – I’ve got an easy life. I consider getting two meals a day & sleeping as much as I want a good deal. Speaking of food, I’ve got my owner thinking that I wont eat my food without some meat in it. Heh heh. Some of the canine privileges that humans will give in to easily. I respect my owner for the fact that she includes meat in my diet irrespective of her financial condition at any period of the month.

She also tries to take me for my daily walk as much as possible. In fact, I wake up at the crack of dawn myself after which it is a long wait for sleepy head to finally wake up. If all goes well, we walk unless there’s the inevitable excuse of weather, hangovers and whatever it is that renders people unusable.

I never went to obedience school. My owner uses three different commands for the same thing and she thinks I’m an idiot! I’m never sure what to do when she says ‘Come, Chalo & Aja‘. I know ‘Sit‘ but am usually lazy enough to make her repeat it several times just for the heck of it. I also know ‘Shake hand‘ although transferring human traditions on dogs isnt very high on my agenda. Unless its for an edible treat for which I can shake both hands and more.

I dont have any other animal friends where I live, not counting the strays that get shooed away from the neighbourhood. Last time I tried to befriend the cat, I learnt about their retractable claws. I once tried to make friends with a goat that wandered in from somewhere but instead got introduced to one head butt of a really angry creature. My owner then smacked a stone right between the eyes of that goat but it stared back at her so much that she quickly left the scene with me in tandem.

This winter posed a crucial problem for me, sleeping arrangement wise. Since my owner no longer lets me sleep on the bed, I moved in to the sofa at night. She doesnt approve of this and always shoos me off it whenever she sees me. Thats why, I pretend to sleep on the old blanket on the floor and sneak up quietly on the sofa when she’s fast asleep. She has no clue whats going on and always seems puzzled to see the sofa covering all messed up in the morning, not to mention why the sofa cushions are on the floor. I am so clever, I should be a detective.

Two days to go

Published on December 29, 2007 in No good and Winkie. 6 Comments

I think my dog is confused as to who her master really is. Even though it is me who feeds her daily, cleans up after her mess in the house and takes her for long walks (when I feel up to it although not recently) In spite of all this, she’s been snarling & jumping on me whenever she feels like, the ingrate.

It seems when she was a pup, she used to run outdoors and head towards the river to play, swim and ultimately drown herself perhaps. Now, this would be the time I was away at work. So, the watchman used to give her a sound thrashing when caught and Winkie was petrified to death of this guy.

A few days back, I had let her free to horse around and to my irritation, she chose to ignore my calls of Come here. I called for her for 15 minutes like a fool while she pranced around eating shit from here and there. Eww. The watchman saw this and said, Winkie’s being disobedient, huh? Shall I call her? After which he shouted her name only once and the bitch that she is came running frantically towards us.

I was dumbstruck as the watchman went grinning away. It was then I realized that my dog thinks that guy is her real master and I’m just someone who’s being kind enough to feed her and let her sleep in my house. No wonder she doesnt respond to any of my commands. And I used to think that it was because of lack of training provided to her.

As an afterthought, I have resorted to imitating the watchman’s deep baritone while issuing commands to my dog. And it works! I’m done being the nice owner and also keeping a stick handy at all times in any case.

The scary dog

Published on November 28, 2007 in Life as it happens and Winkie. 11 Comments

winkie.JPG

Continuing in the spirit of the early morning walk where the terrible cold almost freezes one’s tail off (Winkie’s, not mine) I find it funny when people suddenly stop walking when they see my dog and anxiously begin to ask me if ‘it bites’. What am I supposed to say in return? Yes, it DOES bite. Run for your life?

My labrador is now one year and a month old. She’s this huge dog who can look very scary especially from up close when you’re passing by, hoping also not to get run down by mad, speeding vehicles zooming on the highway. She succeeds in scaring not only the small school children – god bless their easily scared hearts – but also fully grown men & women who seem hell bent on changing paths when they see her.

Although Winkie is a scaredy cat at heart. She’s the quietest dog I have ever known. You know how these dogs are, they go to sleep early and wake up at the crack of dawn to bark at some random sound from outside. Winkie dare not bark and disturb me while I’m sleeping. And she knows this. I find it hilarious to sometimes hear an uncertain attempt to bark which instantly gets cut off in mid-bark if I so much as yell – shaddup!

The scarey dog is tagged with a wrong reputation. And nothing I say or do seems to change people’s minds. If only Winkie knew. I bet she would have done nothing short than behave insufferably.

So you think you want a pup?

Published on October 9, 2007 in Favourite posts, memoirs and Winkie. 11 Comments Tags: , , .

winkie3.jpg

Even I did, about a year ago… I wanted a pup so badly that I had to cry, beg and literally throw a tantrum before I was allowed one. It all began when I visited a friend’s place. She had two fully grown male labradors named Kane and Dylan. Kane was the lean, agile & easily excitable one who lived to play and bark non-stop whereas Dylan was the fat, lazy one who ate all his food without a pause and aimed at polishing off Kane’s leftovers, of which there was always plenty.

So I contacted a breeder and after a week, I was the proud owner of a two and half month fat, yellow female labrador puppy who was christened Winkie Poo. Winkie gets her name after the female house elf in the Harry Potter series.

Contrary to all the rules to be considered before buying a puppy, I did absolutely no research whatsoever before buying one. I didnt even know which and all breeds were supposedly good for what type of lifestyle. All I knew then was that I wanted another Kane or Dylan – period. Active or lazy… I didnt really care.

I also didnt have any idea that I would actually have to feed this pup, clean up her mess in the house and take her outdoors on a regular basis. Now its all hunky dory when you have people to help you with all that but when you’re a single mom to your pup, like moi, without the luxury of anyone helping out, you pretty much have to get down and do everything yourself, including picking doggy doo from the floor and disposing it outside. Every single damn time. Yuck was an understatement for a long time…

Trainers and dog walkers were not accessible to me where I live and I suck at training idiot pups. So by now, my dog is a disobedient imbecile who wont respond to any commands. She also refused to be toilet trained no matter how hard I tried to break that habit. For a long, long time. I seriously am not exaggerating when I say that my living room used to smell like a public toilet and was ashamed to let anyone enter my house.

Winkie never slept in her own bed while growing up. She used to sleep at the foot of my bed which I was okay with in the beginning… Then slowly, as the months went by, the small lump at my feet started growing heavier and heavier till I couldnt even move in my own bed at night. Thats when I started kicking her off the bed. Although she was adamant not to accept this new sleeping arrangement, several nights of kicking did the trick and now Winkie’s made the floor next to my bed her sleeping area. Whew!

I’ve spent endless cash on her vaccinations, de-wormings, food, toys, leashes that she bit her way through growing up, chains that she broke due to her sheer strength and so on. I love giving her a nice, juicy bone that she spends hours gnawing happily; which also means that whether there is meat for people in the house or not, Winkie gets meat all the time.

Finally, Winkie gave a whole new meaning to the words “Animal Loving” when she was teething. Her way of showing affection for me when I returned home in the evening was trying to sever my hand away from my body. She thought I was a chew toy and that she could dig her razor sharp fangs as and when she pleased. My arms used to be bruised with angry red slashes most of the time. Anyone would have thought I was being beaten up in my own home!

And now for the good news. Winkie turns one year old this 22nd. She’s now a sweet dog who doesnt strain against the leash and huff & puff when I take her for walks anymore. She’s also stopped lunging at any stray dog that crosses our path during the morning walks. She’s been toilet trained finally and her Animal Loving has gone pffttt. When I think back on what a savage little beast she used to be, I wonder if she’s the same dog…

What I’ve learnt from my stint as a rookie pet owner is that – while a pup may be cute and cuddy and sooooo sweet, she is also a big responsibility that you need to step upto and do your best. I’ve seen many people give away their grown dogs simply because they cant take care of them anymore. Why take one in the first place? Would they do the same to their own child?

I love my dog. She’s the apple of my eye and the best thing thats happened to me. I guess, in the end the question is, if and when you buy a pup, will you be the best thing thats ever happened to them.

Wake me up when its over

Published on July 4, 2007 in Winkie. 2 Comments

puppy4.gif

This incident happens to me each and every morning of my life ever since I bought that silly puppy of mine that I wonder how I didnt blog about it before…

I am a finicky-morning person i.e., I like to wake up on my own and not cause someone rang the bell or honked the horn or worse, the fool of a puppy you own greets you awake by:

a. Grabbing your hand, thinking its a bone and giving it a good chew

b. Wagging her tail (which is not so small, now she’s 9 months) and whipping it up against your legs. Owiee!

c. Actually cat-walking up and down the length of the bed till you have to wake up and render an ovation

Winkie did all three today morning; she wouldnt stop walking up and down the side of my bed, wagging her tail and trying to dig in her fangs to any body part not under the bed cover. She just wouldnt stop; she kept all this up for at least 15 minutes by which time I was ready to leave the bed just so that she’d stop the cat-walk.

That was what happened today morning. Tomorrow, I’m going to dig deep and stay put in my bed no matter what circus Winkie Poo does. Please to wake me up when its all over.

Waking up at 6 am

Published on May 9, 2007 in Winkie. 2 Comments

Can never be a joke. I dont find it the least bit funny when the fool of a puppy Winkie wakes me up that early everyday. Normally, whenever I wake up in the morning, I cannot go back to sleep for my life. So 6 am it was for me today morning. And as punishment, she will be debarred from her ‘regular‘ morning walk today :)

The bitch ate my flowers!

Published on May 1, 2007 in Winkie. 0 Comments Tags: .

I have these nice, even though slightly dead, plants out in the balcony. Today morning, I woke up in a groggy dream, stumbled to the balcony door & opened it for Winkie, my pet to go out & play. That was because I was still half asleep in comatose sleep at 6 am and was in no state to take her out for fun & games.

I woke up at around 7 to a happy Winkie surrounded on the floor by bits & pieces of my favourite flowers! The bitch of a puppy lavished her destructive attention to my poor plants and ate them up! Of all the stupidest, meaningless things to do so early in the morning…

I suppose I deserve it for being lazy and slip-shod enough to not take her out in time. If only she had some brains or I could get up earlier. Guess this has to be my prerogative entirely.

My dog & me

Published on April 10, 2007 in Life as it happens and Winkie. 2 Comments Tags: .


Last winter, a long-dormant desire to own a pup surfaced big time that led me to beg, cry, throw a tantrum solely for the benefit of my husband, that made him ultimately cave in and we ended up being a happy, even if reluctant owner of a 2 month yellow labrador, christened Winkie Poo. What circus both of us had to do to bring her all the way from Bangalore to Sikkim…

Winkie’s now 5 and a half months old and she’s eaten her way through countless shoes, stuffed toys, couch cushions, my precious books and more recently, my glasses leaving me blind for the morning and unable to go to work, not to mention making my purse lighter as I left the optician’s place paying for my new glasses.

Other “less” damages, at least not money-wise is losing her bladder control in the house, even after taking her out for the designated walk when she’s supposed to do her dirty business… My living room smells like a public toilet and I’m ashamed to let people inside my house.

I remember nodding along when her previous owner talked about participating Winkie in dog shows when she gets older,”just like her mum.” Ha ha! The only commands my pup knows is COME! (when her dinner’s ready) and SIT!. That too, only after I go, Sit Winkie, sit sit sit sit sit, why the hell wont you sit!!!

Its a tough life but something I voluntarily called upon myself, I know. I suppose the only silver lining I can recount about all this is when I get back home after a long day and she’s so excited to see me, it makes me wonder if I am indeed that special after all! Thats when I relax and once again be happy about being a dog owner, that is, until the next shoe sacrifice…

Related Posts with Thumbnails