I am grateful to my dear friend, Sushubh without whom this site would not have been possible. Its exhilarating to have my own Dot Com site! Million thanks again to Sushubh. More in the next posts…
:)
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It has come to this - accepting insomnia as a way of life and drowning one’s sorrows in the inevitable drink that makes everything seem allright for that moment. Life and its surprising turn of events can sure leave one high and dry without a shred of lifeline to hang on to. Is it fair, you may ask. Is this really happening? Are you really stupid? Are you out of your mind?
I am tired of being strong and independant. I am sick of knowing my mind and being in charge of my life. I need a break. I want to wander aimlessly through life’s unexpected winding binding twists and turns and for once, not knowing what will happen next. Call it insanity, delusional or simply foolishness. Call it extreme. I will tell you when it gets too hard to handle. A part of my mind is masochistic enough to admit that I am liking this dissolving texture of what is supposedly my life. Inevitability in itself is self explanatory, need I say more?
- Hard to handle
When do you realize that life isnt exactly going on as per your fantastically well-laid plans? How long do you choose to ignore the fact that you may just be so caught up in the moment that you dont realize yourself washed away for good? I watched the incredibly startling movie, ‘Not without my daughter’ last night; the book I read & loved by the same name ensured that I stay up late to watch the movie. Things take a horrible turn when what was supposed to be a vacation to Iran for 2 weeks turns into years of forcibly held hostage for the American wife & her daughter.
Within the course of the movie, I couldnt help wondering the above thoughts. Why does a person let go of herself, her identity, her wishes & desires - just to make someone else happy who actually wont even think twice before dropping her like a hot potato. What makes anyone give so much unconditional love & importance to someone that she finally ends up losing her own importance?
Rightfully said, if you have anything bad going on in your life, Move On! Nothing’s more precious to you than your own well being. Happiness, peace of mind, best of life & its accessories…. Need anything else? Not to me.
Somethings in life cannot be shared, grief being one of them. You can only depend on someone for so much to share your pain. After that, its all yours; everyday being one for you relieve the personal hell you’re going through. I saw a father cry over the loss of his 30 year old son. A mother who went through the same experience says that the tears never dry up. Not in a million years.
Grief is personal. Its a manifold death you need to die before you see the last of this world. Eventually in time, things are reduced to a vague dream. Till that happens, tears and not words convey your loss of a lifetime.
So I was introduced to this great game by my best bud last winter. Went ahead & bought it for suitable “time pass”. What I didnt know was that I would probably be able to solve only 3 of its numerous puzzles till date. Its a simple enough game with dominos & other various shapes that I need to arrange into the given solved diagram.
It is actually more difficult that it sounds like. Each puzzle takes me countless re-takes even to this day & I am left with questioning my intelligence for a long time after. No wonder the fantastic Kaleidoscope is tucked away safely to the bottom of the cabinet, waiting for particularly no-one to indulge it. And if it have it my way, it’ll stay there forever. Whew!
You said, I said