Archive for the 'No good' Category

Have some respect

Published on August 12, 2008 in No good. 13 Comments Tags: , , .

I couldnt believe my eyes when I read this on MTV’s tickr:

Sania’s track pants will make more news than Abhinav Bindra.

He will not get to feature in a single advertisement.

Harman Baweja will be more famous that Abhinav Bindra.

No girl with put up a poster of Abhinav Bindra in her room or even wallpaper on her desktop.

No one will recognize him on the streets.

His signature will never become an autograph.

So what if he won a Gold, Rohit Sharma will still make more money than Abhinav!

At best, RGV may approach Abhinav Bindra for a gangstar film.

And he wont pay him for it.

No one will come on iSuperstar and want to be Abhinav.

Big Boss will not invite him to his house.

Abhinav Bindra will become one of the officers in Khatron Ka Khiladi, at best.

The Abhinav Bindra Fan Club on Facebook has 43 members.

Thats probably two less than Tusshaar’s.

The sad part is that MTV wants to be so cool – it thinks making fun of a national hero is okay. I dont agree with this. Watch out, MTV – this is not one of your Roadies that you’re talking about.

This is a big deal and I for one was stupendously proud of the Indian National Anthem being played at the award ceremony. This is not a small achievement and we all know it.

The 25 year old has achieved what no one had before in the history of Indian Sports. He is India’s first individual Olympic gold medallist while the last gold for India was won by the hockey team in 1980.

He has done India proud and reading such tasteless jokes on MTV makes me ashamed of the media. For what its worth, his picture is now on my desktop.

Congratulations, Abhinav Bindra!

Being aware of strangers

Published on July 22, 2008 in Life as it happens and No good. 4 Comments Tags: , , .

I dont know why I’m so suspicious by nature. I seem to be always wondering if there’s an ulterior motive for strange people to behave the way they do with me. Like the last time me and a friend were driving back home in a torrid rainfall when a guy thumbed for a lift. Yeah, like I’d willingly offer our lives and the car keys to a psycho in the middle of a storm.

Or the time when I was home alone and a decrepit-looking youth rang my door bell claiming he came from an LPG company on a mission to clean and repair my gas stove for free. I wouldnt have let him in my house even if he had shown me IDs in the first place. As he muttered something like - You know, its for free. You dont have to pay anything, I mentally replied – Yeah, only with my life.

So much so that if somehow a stranger indeed turns out to be kind hearted and that he/she was actually helping me out, instead of running behind me with a knife, (while I run screaming for my life) I find myself extremely surprised and the whole thing very unexpected.

I blame it all on TV and the movies in which a killer seems to lurk behind every seemingly innocent face. I wonder when it was that I actually stopped trusting people.

Rabbits for breakfast

Published on July 16, 2008 in No good. 4 Comments Tags: , .

I’m a law abiding citizen, have never broken a law in my life (except for silly rules in college life which were so paper thin, they would have snapped by themselves anyway) That is why VIPs with their flashing red lights and eardrum splitting sirens behaving like the road is their personal property gets my goat anyday. Its not so much the main VIP himself that pisses me off so much. Its their hired guards who yell abuses at other vehicles telling them to get their ****ing car out of the way – that makes me see red.

I have no doubts that VIPs are in so much of a hurry that they dont need to follow traffic rules. I also have no issues that they specialize in having drivers who ensure that they drive like madmen and no other. But do I really have to listen to their guards and hired men yell at me to park my stupid car OR ELSE? Too much.

Last time, a cop on duty to a VIP entourage cooked my rabbit early in the morning. I was driving to work, minding my own business when I spotted The Red Sirens approaching from behind. Now, I know my role perfectly well and was slowing down the car to give them the right of road when this really pissed cop starts jumping up and down like a monkey and starts yelling his head off at me. Apparently another car came from around the bend and he thought we deaf-blind people wouldnt know better than to stop our cars.

Something inside my just snapped. I could take this s**t no longer. I stormed out of the car and started yelling back at that stupid cop myself. Oh, vengeance is sweet indeed. I snarled at him – Who do you think you’re talking to, huh??? I’m not your regular taxi drivers that you can shout at me just because you are a policeman. You’re trying to take advantage of the khakhi uniform, eh? And so on and on and on. I shouted at him till onlookers had to intervene in between and ask me to forgive the poor-chap-who-was-just-doing-his-job and continue my way.

After a while, I still hadnt calmed down and complained to his boss at the police station, who in turn graciously apologized to me. That wasnt my point. Ok, so I agree that certain people are always in a hurry and that their business is more important than mine. But that does not mean, their underlings get to play god and kick around lesser mortals than themselves, do they?

Finito

Published on May 22, 2008 in Life as it happens and No good. 6 Comments Tags: , .

Its has been fun being 28. And I am not at all looking forward to being 29. That just leaves me one year of crossing over to the doomed side. I cannot imagine being 30. How would I react to things? Should I act all grown up and lose sight of the fun things in life? Should I be more serious and cross out all things that make me happy in life? Could I never smile again???

I dont know why people have to grow old. I am perfectly content being 28. Heck, I was perfectly content being 26. But no! the units in my age have to increase one by one like those stupid counters I teach in class to reach this even more stupid age.

I envy people in their early twenties. I think there’s nothing greater than the I-dont-give-a-damn feeling of youth. Of course now that I’ve almost half a foot in the grave, I might as well hang up my dancing shoes and consider myself lucky if I have Fun once a year.

I hate 2008. I wish it was 2007 again. I dont want to be 29. My life is over. I am old. Senile is me. I cant believe almost three decades of my life is already over. I still havent done half the things I wanted to do in this lifetime. Its funny watching Joey cry, “Why God, why?” on TV. Its an entirely different story when it happens in reality.

If I cant stand to be 29, I wonder if I have to sit to be 30 next year…

Tu m’emmerdes!

Published on May 3, 2008 in No good. 13 Comments

I’m sick of people telling me what to do, how I should behave, what I should talk about and when I should keep my trap shut. I’m sick of expectations from everyone I know, I used to know or maybe dont even know all that well.

I’ve had it up to my eye balls listening people complain about my lack of regard for rules or whatever it is that I have broken the most recent. I’m fed up of everyone relegating me duties that I should perform as a perfect human being/co-worker/slave-to-the-system and I am tired of listening to crap from everybody around.

I dont care about rules. I dont care about society. I dont care about who is who and I give a rat’s *** as to whom I offend as and when and how and why I rant. I dont care about today or tomorrow or anytime about the near future. And I certainly dont care about anything else other than what concerns me.

I am happy just being myself. I dont want to be him or her or that stranger who’s currently judging me with their mouth hanging open. I want to take joy in the little things in life, be it petting my dog and reading my book rather than whose life depends on my moving one toe out of line.

Arrrggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I suck at GK

Published on April 8, 2008 in No good. 7 Comments

Jimmy: Who’s the current Vice President of India?

Me: Umm…. I know its not Prativa Patil.

Jimmy: I’ll give you one slap if you say Bhairav Singh Shekhawat! Look it up. Next question – who’s the winner of Magsaysay award?

Me: Whats a Magsaysay award?

Jimmy: Uff. Who won the first Bharat Ratna award?

Me: I dont know.

Jimmy: You’re never going to pass the GK exam this way. Ok next, where’s the Commonwealth Games 2010 going to be held?

Me: I know this one – India!!! (Had recently read an article that said Delhi government’s spending lakhs of rupees to teach Delhi taxi drivers to speak in English in preparation of Commonwealth Games 2010!)

Jimmy: Blind fire hit the target this time allright. Haha.

Me: Shut up. Let me now ask you a question, seeing that you’re oh so prepared and all. Where is the Beijing Olympics going to be held this year?

Jimmy: Very funny. Just remember, I’ll pass and you’ll fail.

Me: *Beep*

Bad week

Published on March 14, 2008 in No good. 7 Comments

This has not been a good week. Almost everything that could go wrong, did. Two of my plans backfired right in my face and I will now have to think of new ways of what to do with the collateral damage. I realized I dont understand certain comments, even with comment moderation enabled and end up deleting them for want of a better solution. To top it up, I attacked my own Vampire in FaceBook twice in two days and couldnt attack anyone after that.

Thank god in heaven its finally Friday.

Oh dear

Published on February 27, 2008 in No good and These thoughts of mine. 4 Comments

(as they say in Tennis commentary)

I pulled a long strand of white hair from my head last night. As I watched life pass me by, I remembered two things:

If you pull one white hair, seven more grow back in its place. That means, my life is now officially over.

This one proverb kept repeating in my head – True wisdom is born with white hair. For which I couldnt help retaliate – I’d rather be a fool instead with thick locks of black/burgundy/reddish brown hair or whichever non-white colour thats currently reigning on my mood.

Closure

Published on February 21, 2008 in No good. 3 Comments

Unfortunately, I still dont know what that means.

Viva la exam

Published on February 6, 2008 in No good. 8 Comments

Possibly, the worst part of taking a practical exam is the rudimentary viva attached with it. I myself recall a really, supremely nasty character whose every syllable dripped with sarcasm and reduced the student sitting on the other side of the table to tears. Till date, I dont why he always did this – but that chap lived to sneer at us students whenever we couldnt answer properly. Such was life back then in the tyrant’s lab exams.

Back to the present: I myself took viva for a lab exam today. And it was only after the whole thing got over, I was horrified to realize I pretty much made some kids go through the same torture I myself underwent 10 years back. These were my lines:

  • You dont know? So what is it that you do know!?!
  • (Loads of staring all the time)
  • Say you dont know and stop wasting my time.
  • Are you sure? (repeated three times)
  • See you in the next supplementary exam.

God!

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