Archive for the 'memoirs' Category

Looking back

 

A friend tagged me in this old school pic today in Facebook. This was probably taken way back in 1990, last day of school, class V – St. Thomas, Gangtok.  I’m in touch with a lot of my friends in this photo, thanks to Facebook. Unfortunately, I also dont remember some people in the picture and have no recollection of interacting with them. I think of them and hope they have done well in their lives. I wish them happiness and if we should ever meet again in the future, I hope we get to talk at least once and recall this wonderful moment of carefree childhood.

I see many friends in this picture whom I’ve lost touch with completely and even Facebook could not bring us together. I remember the brief moments when we interacted, said a few words, spent a few moments together and I now wonder where they are. I remember them fondly and wish them well. I hope to meet them again someday and recollect those simpler times when we were kids.

I remember my teachers in this photo and how two decades flit by in the blink of an eye. I dont know where they are but I want to thank them with all my heart for making me the person that I am today.

And to the rest of  my friends with whom I had the wonderful opportunity to spend those glorious years of childhood together AND have the privilege of strolling down memory lane, thanks to this pic, salüt!

Goodbyes are not forever, goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean we’ll miss you, until we meet again ~ Author Unknown.

It aint no picnic

I’ve lost all enthusiasm about going for picnics. Today was the annual office picnic and although I have been attending these since I’ve joined, I gave this year a miss. Many people asked me why. I just didnt feel like going this year.

The funny thing is I always give this theory when people act pricey about attending social events especially when they’re expected to be present. The theory goes something like this:

There are some people (in this world) who will always say that they wont be going and the rest have to beg, plead, cajole and whine for them to finally consent. That is only if the following sentences are uttered – Come on, it will be no fun without you. Please come, it wont be the same. And so on and so forth.

Theory not applicable here, of course.

The definition of a picnic isnt a fun event for me anymore. I dont know what kind of picnics you guys go to but the ones I end up in usually involve a group of people playing cards from 10am till 5pm. Last year, the winner made about 4000 rupees by the end of the day. A worthy task indeed and much boasted about till this date. Another group of people will be dancing for approximately the same period of time, watched by The Audience who probably dont know how to play cards and dont know how to dance either, in my opinion.

And before anyone asks, I belong to the dancing category.

And there is one teetotaller who will be given the most important job of being the bartender. He will be immensely popular that day and will be everybody’s friend as long as the drinks keep coming. The moment the bar closes, he runs for his life and a commotion is guaranteed at the empty bar.

Happens every year.

Continue reading ‘It aint no picnic’

Stupidly fearless girl

As you grow older (and wiser perhaps: seems aging is mandatory, wisdom optional), you look back at all the things you used to do back when you were young and wonder how on earth are you still alive today to blog about it.

Me and a friend were talking about college days when we used to make the arduous journey from Sikkim all the way to different parts of South India which meant four days of very long travelling. Most of the times, we used to have other batch mates escorting us. But there were vacations such as Onam holidays for me during which they (the guys, if you could call them that) wouldnt want to travel back and forth in such a very short period of time; so they decided on staying back in Calicut.

I, on the other hand, HAD TO travel, even if I had to do it all alone, just so that I could come back home, stay for a couple of days and head back again. Stupidity number one.

Once, I traveled all the way till Calcutta along with other friends. They reached their destinations and went home happily. My connecting overnight train to Sikkim was at 6 pm and I remember one very decent batch mate worried about how I would wait all alone in the platform. I exclaimed – Come on! I’ll wait in the ladies waiting room – its no big deal, yaar! Thats when he informed me that I was standing in the wrong railway terminal in the first place. Stupidity number two.

He kindly escorted me to the other platform, which was miles(?) away from the previous one and he finally had to take off since I had hours to kill before the train arrived. His face was all scrunched up with worry while I laughingly waved him goodbye.

Six pm came and went – I had already left the ladies waiting room and was in the platform waiting for the stupid train to show up. Night fell and everything started becoming dark. There I sat on the platform, propped up on my rucksack, reading a book while porters in their red uniform and other creatures eyed me quizzically till 11 pm. Thats when the train finally showed up and I took the upper side berth to promptly fall asleep. Needless to say, I reached home in one piece.

Looking back, I kind of fear for my own safety and thank god nothing happened to me. During that particular journey and so many others after that.  I cant imagine traveling alone right now. I need an escort to reach me till the train bathroom – thats how much I’m scared to death, honestly speaking.

I guess thats what age does to you. It makes you aware of how fearless you once were.

My dad

Me and my dad werent always best of friends. If anything else, we probably fought more as father and daughter than normal enemies would have in their lifetime. He had a terrible, terrible temper – the very same one that has been passed on to me, I’m afraid. People would literally be afraid to be near him whenever he used to be in one of his moods. Which was pretty often.

We once had a lousy argument regarding the small kid who was the servant’s sister (who used to stay with us). Something pissed him off and he went berserk. Thats when I sprang in defense of the little kid. One thing led to another and we yelled pretty much hard at one another. Before the rest of the family realized what had happened, I packed up my bags and stormed out of the house. I walked a while before I realized that I actually had nowhere to go. Then I went sobbing to my aunt’s house; thank god she took me in and I stayed with her for two days before we made peace and I could go back home.

He wasnt always all that bad though. He never lay a finger on me or my brother while growing up. Now, the kind of person I am – you’d want to do me bodily harm if you got the chance. In that sense, I am really my father’s daughter. He also gave me a lot of space as an individual. I remember he used to hand me my letters, whenever I used to get any, intact and unopened. On the contrary, my mum used to open them, read and then demand an explanation for each of the sentence the other person had written.

When I first left home to study in Kerala, he accompanied me and by the time we reached Calicut, I remember him whispering to me – Where on earth did you choose to study, my daughter! The distance eventually did us both good since we werent in each other’s faces to scream at one another any more. The love between us just grew more and more because distance indeed made both our hearts grow fonder.

When I decided to get married, he didnt approve of it because of the differences between our religion, caste and what not. Like an adamant brat, I went ahead and eloped because after all, youth does deem itself invincible. The first time me and my husband entered my house, my dad had tears in his eyes as he made us sip milk from a bowl with his own hands, as was the custom.

It has been two and a half years since he passed away. And I miss him terribly. There’s no one left to get mad at and no one to love either. I dont know why but I suddenly thought of him after a long time. Its ironic how you realize the value of the other person only when they’re not around.

A girl called Joy

This is my kid sister Joy. I took these pics with my 2MP nokia phone when she was about 4 years old. (Yes, those were the dark ages when I didnt have my Cyber Shot digicam with me) but she loved posing for the camera anyways.

See what I mean? Whenever I used to get home, the first thing I used to do was take a few pics of her then itself. Joysa climbed on a bed that was nearly as tall as her to get this pic taken. I guess thats a smile of accomplishment she’s got grinning away.

She’s got the loveliest eyes. My better half once told me – “Joy’s such a pretty little thing, that too when she’s this young. Whatever went wrong with you???” Haha, such a comedian.

I guess she didnt want me to take this pic. But she looks so cute even when she’s not smiling!

So long, Robin

So long, Robin. Its been nice knowing you. I cant believe that its over. That we wont be seeing your smiling face in the office every morning. And that you wont be a part of our ‘lunch group’ anymore. This also means no one is going to go to Khusboo anymore for lunch since only you preferred that restaurant so much. But we will miss you very much.

I hope when you join your new job, you’ll do very well and incorporate your learning experiences while you were with us. Like how not to shout at your boss maybe. Although the fact that you’re very talented and hardworking normally outshines whatever little volcanos you host deep within, rest assured.

You’re such a beautiful human being. You laugh so easily at all my stupid jokes, I used to feel so clever and quite the wit. You are kind, intelligent and having you around has been extremely fun, drunk or sober. I shall never forget you cleaning my kitchen, that incident only made me realize that we were friends for good or bad and most importantly, clean or dirty. I shall miss you. Very much.

I shall also miss not being able to advise you anymore. Oh, what major life changing decisions you used to break your head on! I’m glad you didnt join the other job two years back or else I wouldnt have been able to get to know you this well. I wish you didnt have to leave us for it has been a bundle of fun all these months.

The office wont be the same without you. Everyday was like a picnic, sitting and gossiping half the time. And laughing the rest half of the time. (Boss reading this??? I know you wouldnt care anymore but dont mind if I do) Nevertheless, it has all been fun. And as we begin our separate paths workwise henceforth, I wish you happiness in everything you do. Or for that matter, dont do as well.

In your own words, luck luck luck, good luck dear Robin. Hope our paths cross more than deemed necessary and believe me when I say that the dance floor wont be the same without you. Goodbye, old friend. Your name may rhyme with dusbin but you shall always be king of our hearts.

Day of Nostalgia

Took a trip down memory lane with my best friend who came back to town for a few days. Literally. Walked past our old homes which we stopped calling ours since the last 10 years. And nostalgia reigned supreme.

I felt like I was walking through my past and my mum, god rest her soul, would call me back home from the balcony anytime soon. I felt I was walking through a ghost town with the people who once walked through the very steps gone beyond reach.

I never thought of my old home on purpose before. I dont know why. And as I walked through the front yard where I played as a child, I knew I didnt want to ever go back there again.

Two stupid dogs were tied to the posts who started barking as soon as they saw two strangers walking past their homes.. I wanted to tell them - this used to be my home for 16 years so shut the hell up.

Walking down memory lane was every bit as painful as they say. I realized that only today, which in the future will help me stay away.

An interesting game called 29

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Anyone who knows the card game of 29 can understand the frenzy and mania associated with it, thereby automatically understands what I’m talking about. Someone made the mistake of remarking, “You people dont know how to play 29? Let me teach you the most interesting game in the world” Ever since then, there’s been no looking back on the happy havoc created by the game in our lives.

The game itself is simple enough. Thats what you think in the beginning. Here are the rules for playing the game itself. Although me and my pal have been hopelessly trying to master the game for about four years now with very little luck. An interesting concept of keeping the score is using a black SIX & red SIX which are arranged to display a red heart (or spade or club or diamond) to show a game won. A black pip shows a game lost. If you continue to lose till all the black pips are uncovered, then you keep score with a black FIVE.

To our shame, me and my best bud, who were partners, once continued to play the game, all the while continuously losing till the last black TWO was uncovered and there were no more cards to lose any further. That game went on till the wee hours of the morning, all the while with us refusing to let the other team leave the table at any cost.

Finally, sick and tired of losing the game to the guys so much that a gender-battle went on as soon as anyone mentioned ’29′, me & my gal pal resorted to signalling which card was which. Then for a while, we started winning although it was only a matter of time before the male radar caught on and used the silent signal to their advantage and win the game themselves!

My partner and me then went and changed the signals for the hearts, diamonds, spades and clubs so much that we ourselves finally got confused and lost the games anyway like how we used to in the beginning. The fates deemed it necessary for us not to win at any cost.

Playing the game till 2 or 3 am continuously was a way of life for the four of us for a long time. We used to celebrate every occasion with a drink and playing this magical game. We used to divide our time between everyone’s places, sleeping overnight just so that we could 29 it.

Sadly, my partner is out of the state till at least April 2008. That means we dont get to play till then but I cannot wait for her to get back. Till then, I dedicate this post in her memory and will probably dream about playing 29 tonight…

So you think you want a pup?

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Even I did, about a year ago… I wanted a pup so badly that I had to cry, beg and literally throw a tantrum before I was allowed one. It all began when I visited a friend’s place. She had two fully grown male labradors named Kane and Dylan. Kane was the lean, agile & easily excitable one who lived to play and bark non-stop whereas Dylan was the fat, lazy one who ate all his food without a pause and aimed at polishing off Kane’s leftovers, of which there was always plenty.

So I contacted a breeder and after a week, I was the proud owner of a two and half month fat, yellow female labrador puppy who was christened Winkie Poo. Winkie gets her name after the female house elf in the Harry Potter series.

Contrary to all the rules to be considered before buying a puppy, I did absolutely no research whatsoever before buying one. I didnt even know which and all breeds were supposedly good for what type of lifestyle. All I knew then was that I wanted another Kane or Dylan – period. Active or lazy… I didnt really care.

I also didnt have any idea that I would actually have to feed this pup, clean up her mess in the house and take her outdoors on a regular basis. Now its all hunky dory when you have people to help you with all that but when you’re a single mom to your pup, like moi, without the luxury of anyone helping out, you pretty much have to get down and do everything yourself, including picking doggy doo from the floor and disposing it outside. Every single damn time. Yuck was an understatement for a long time…

Trainers and dog walkers were not accessible to me where I live and I suck at training idiot pups. So by now, my dog is a disobedient imbecile who wont respond to any commands. She also refused to be toilet trained no matter how hard I tried to break that habit. For a long, long time. I seriously am not exaggerating when I say that my living room used to smell like a public toilet and was ashamed to let anyone enter my house.

Winkie never slept in her own bed while growing up. She used to sleep at the foot of my bed which I was okay with in the beginning… Then slowly, as the months went by, the small lump at my feet started growing heavier and heavier till I couldnt even move in my own bed at night. Thats when I started kicking her off the bed. Although she was adamant not to accept this new sleeping arrangement, several nights of kicking did the trick and now Winkie’s made the floor next to my bed her sleeping area. Whew!

I’ve spent endless cash on her vaccinations, de-wormings, food, toys, leashes that she bit her way through growing up, chains that she broke due to her sheer strength and so on. I love giving her a nice, juicy bone that she spends hours gnawing happily; which also means that whether there is meat for people in the house or not, Winkie gets meat all the time.

Finally, Winkie gave a whole new meaning to the words “Animal Loving” when she was teething. Her way of showing affection for me when I returned home in the evening was trying to sever my hand away from my body. She thought I was a chew toy and that she could dig her razor sharp fangs as and when she pleased. My arms used to be bruised with angry red slashes most of the time. Anyone would have thought I was being beaten up in my own home!

And now for the good news. Winkie turns one year old this 22nd. She’s now a sweet dog who doesnt strain against the leash and huff & puff when I take her for walks anymore. She’s also stopped lunging at any stray dog that crosses our path during the morning walks. She’s been toilet trained finally and her Animal Loving has gone pffttt. When I think back on what a savage little beast she used to be, I wonder if she’s the same dog…

What I’ve learnt from my stint as a rookie pet owner is that – while a pup may be cute and cuddy and sooooo sweet, she is also a big responsibility that you need to step upto and do your best. I’ve seen many people give away their grown dogs simply because they cant take care of them anymore. Why take one in the first place? Would they do the same to their own child?

I love my dog. She’s the apple of my eye and the best thing thats happened to me. I guess, in the end the question is, if and when you buy a pup, will you be the best thing thats ever happened to them.

For Jaya

(…who inspired me to write this post)

My life began two decades & eight years back when I had the privilege of sharing my childhood with some wonderful people whom I can still count as my friends. Although its been decades since we last met, we share a nostalgic bond that goes back in time to frilly skirts and birthday parties filled with presents and good times.

My parents had about a dozen neighbours who in turn had at least two kids so we were a huge group of noisy/bratty/sweet/angelic/strange kids of every colour, shape and size. We girls used to stick together, along with our kid brother/sister in tow and head out to play marbles, chasing each other for no apparent reason, show off newly bought stuff – I once threw Jaya’s brand new eraser down the drain because I was so jealous!!! Poor thing cried like anything – I still feel guilty about it even now…

We were more than just neighbours forced to live next door to each other… we were like a part of a huge extended family that celebrated every festival with one another. I especially remember the wonderful Diwali times when we used to go mad bursting crackers and fireworks. The explosions that went off outside our homes made it sound as though a real war was literally going on. Christmas time used to bring in carol singers braving the cold winter night and singing beautiful hymns too.

I remember the sunny winter days where we used to gather around and have a picnic right in the front yard or sit on the long steps that led to a kid called Ubica’s house and eat oranges! Quite a unique name… wonder what it meant… We also used to hold dance shows where we showcased some of our best dancers in the neighbourhood. With me & another girl as the choreographers. I must say I have no idea what made me actually do all that….

We spent so much time of our childhood playing happily with one another that we didnt realize when it was that we grew up and by that time, we were already 16 and shifted base to all parts of the state/country. Its only now, after three whole decades do I realize what a wonderful childhood we had and what beautiful friendships we made during those precious years.

If only I could give my children (as and when, people… read on) some kind of childhood like that, I think I would have had half my job as a parent WELL DONE. To all my friends from those good old days…. thanks for making the first one and half decades of my life memorable.

If I had a chance to go back in time, I wouldnt change even one thing… except perhaps relive it happily all over again. And also not chuck Jaya’s new eraser down the drain ;)

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