Archive for the 'Life as it happens' Category

Oh lazy brain

Many people asked me as to why I havent written anything in my blog till now. And by many people, I mean at least 3. I replied, “I dont have anything to write about”.

In retrospect, is that really true? Have I nothing to say left anymore? That cant be right since I havent stopped chattering nineteen to the dozen, 24X7 and dont seem to run out of ideas vocally. So why should typing be a different story?

I have resolved to stop playing silly online games that sap up my online time as well as my train of thoughts which leave me no time to do precious little. Let the dust cloths be pulled off this poor blog and may no one suffer from sneezing allergies as we do so.

Brain, I command you to write – starting NOW.

In dog years, I’m dead

thirty

Today is the last day I will be able to say I am 29. There are very few instances in life when one wants time to stand still and I figure this is definitely one of them. Its surreal leaving the 20’s behind and turning old is cruel, nay excruciatingly painful. Who knew this day would one day arrive.

I was ranting about the very same thing to a friend of mine who had an interesting thing to say: 30’s are the best years of one’s life. According to him, the 20’s are when you’re discovering yourself; maybe experimenting with things, pleasant or otherwise. And a whole lot of drama naturally involved.

On the contrary, the 30’s are when you’ve accepted who you are and you finally learn to make peace with yourself. You know what you want and dont; and basically live life as per your choices and no one else’s.

This made a lot of sense to me. And if at all, what he says is true, I can stop fussing about a number that decides how old I should be because facebook says I’m mentally only 13.

Here’s to three decades well spent. I didnt want to turn 30 but looks like time had other plans!

To being thirty. And (hopefully) stopping the count at that and no, I dont mean anything drastic like dying within this year.

30 and none the wiser. And we shall live happily ever after.

Hello Bangalore!

I am happy to be back in Bangalore but I have to say – this place has grown so hot! And now I finally know how bad it is to be stuck in one of its horrific traffic jams. Just yesterday, we were being driven around in town and the driver was so friendly that every time we asked him a question, he would turn right back at us to look at us as we speak!

We decided not to ask him any questions since we would ultimately end up being dead that way. After a while, I see the guy’s eyes dozing off in the rear view mirror while the car moves at full speed! What a temperature and what an incredible driver. I am alive as I write this post, to all concerned enough.

Visited some industries today since this is supposed to be an official tour. My colleague asked some impressive whats-the-spindle-rpm questions to the guy who was escorting us for a manufacturing plant tour.

So I decided that I would ask this question on the next tour, only to be reminded by my colleague to make sure that there was actually a spindle on the machine in the first place. Har har.

No, I am not a mechanical engineer. And yes, I know what a spindle looks like. What else do you think is that lady doing on my header with all that yarn???

My hotel room is the hottest place in Bangalore, I’d have to admit. I try leaving the windows open when I leave in the morning. In return, the housekeeping staff are so diligent that they close the windows once they’re done with the daily cleaning so that the room represents a 100 degree centigrade oven when I get back but other than that, the stay is okay.

We’re supposed to keep the receipts of the expensed incurred so that we can get it reimbursed when we get back to office. I wonder if I can sneak in a few INOX theatre tickets in my bunch when no one is looking.

I’m yet to meet my friends here – most of them dont even know that I’m in their city.

Hello once again, Bangalore! Its nice to be back.

Torture parlour

I’ve begun dreading the mandatory visit to the local beauty parlour. And its not as if one can do anything about it since you have to be extra careful with scissor-happy females who hold the power to give you a really bad haircut. And make you look like a freak in the flick of a wrist.

Most of the times, I’m always unfortunate enough to get attended upon by an overtly talkative lady who tries to be your new best friend and give you tips on any subject ranging from blackheads to a happy married life. And they have to speak through a bubble gum to make it as worse as possible.

The fellow gossip-starved clients dont help much either. In fact, both of them team up to churn yard after yard of gossip that smothers everyone around and which although is interesting to listen to for a while but may get real bitchy after a point of time.

Another problem is my specs. They ask me to remove my glasses for the hair cut after which I cant make out what the hell’s going on back there. My hairstyle then automatically depends on the one who is cutting them and by the time she finishes her job and asks me to inspect (with my glasses back on), its usually too late to not like whatever she has just done. Another reason for me and blind people to be nice to the hairdresser.

Eyebrow threading is another task I do not care for much and always squirm with pain whenever the lady rips it off with a vengeance that makes me question her sanity. And as if that wasnt bad enough, I once had the lady press up to me so much that I swear, if she had been pregnant, I could have heard the baby’s heart beat.

The beauty parlour has transmorgified into a torture parlour for me where the moment I enter, I am pointed to a seat and a ton of magazines are automatically dumped on me that feature skinny models with glowing skin and really nice hair.

Oh yeah, as if the trip to the torture parlour itself wasnt bad enough.

I’m willing my hair not to grow back on. Or accept the option to look shabby for the rest of my life. Or gift my hairdresser something really expensive.

P.S. I know this post probably wont make much sense to the guys who all they know of the mysterious beauty parlours is the front door and the sign which says - Men not allowed inside. If you thought waiting outside forever for your girl to emerge was bad, let me tell you, being indoors isnt a lot of fun either. At least for me!

Obsession

obsession

I realized that I’m prone to obessions. It amuses me to think that I listen to the same song ten times at a stretch, I play the same game for weeks now so much so that I havent checked my mail, my precious blog and what the heck does real life mean, anyways?

Looking back, I screwed up quite a lot. Apologies to:

  • My best friends who had a baby boy recently. I still havent visited them yet.
  • My baby sister turned 7 this month. I missed her birthday.
  • Also missed two of my best friends’ birthdays. Arrgghh.
  • My dog’s eating grass. This means she’s probably sick. Nothing done about it yet.

I’ve got to start doing things in order of their importance.

And I’ve got to stop believing that descending is also an order.

Social

I may not be social in real life but I sure hope to be online:

http://ringchen.com/social

Dont know, dont care

images2

I hate family gatherings. The last time I was in the midst of one, at least six people commented on the way I looked, talked or even breathed for all I knew. They had a gala time being boisterous and smart mouthing about most things which they’d never be able to say out loud in the real world, at least thats what I inferred.

Almost every person beckoned me over and asked – Did you recognize me? Heck, I dont even recognize the same person I met six months back and we’re talking about years and years of reunion here. The only option was to bare my teeth and nod furiously saying – Of course I do! How can I forget.

For instance, I was summoned by someone who’s my great aunt, when in truth I couldnt tell the nature of our relationship to save my life. I walked up to her and a couple of her friends sitting inside, assumed what I felt was a respectable position and then started getting grilled about my life since I was born to 30 years hence.

Then suddenly, this lady at her right snorts out of the blue – Hah, now she doesnt recognize me! Do you know who I am? DO YOU!?!

I assured her that I didnt.

(I didnt want to start knowing her anyway since she seemed to get real angry by this point)

Continue reading ‘Dont know, dont care’

The lunch that wasnt

A friend called me for lunch yesterday. It was some holiday so it was also a wednesday off from work. I had no plans and was looking forward to a day of pleasant nothingness. Lunching at her place meant a two hour travel but I thought, what the heck – she’s called me early in the morning (at 7:30 am to be precise) and kept asking me to get there as early as possible AND that she’d make lunch.

I’m game for free lunches as much as the next person so sure, I was in. Reached her place by 12 noon and started chatting. Drank two cups of tea (in huge mugs) and was thinking – its nice to catch up after ages. Thats when two of her cousins arrived and she walked off to talk with them. Leaving me alone, sitting and waiting for a long time AND feeling slightly neglected. Also start feeing hungry around the same time.

“What do you want to have for lunch? Noodles or roti?” asks my friend emerging from nowhere.

I am hoping either of them are already cooked since the last time I looked at the clock, it was already 1 pm.

“Noodles will be fine.” said I.

 ”Its meat noodles, isnt it?”

“Oh you wanted meat, huh? Okay, I’ll tell the cook to chop up some”.

Again, the last time I checked, I was and still am a pure non vegetarian.

Continue reading ‘The lunch that wasnt’

People can think what they want

I was at the bank sometime back and had nothing to do other than listen in on a most personal conversation between two women, well… due to lack of having anything else to do. They had just finished hugging and greeting each other in such a manner that it was safe to assume they hadn’t seen either in years. In the mean time, a kid kept tugging at one of the woman’s dupatta, wailing about something or the other.

The other, apparently older friend then proceeds to generally fawn over the little dumpling and after getting over with the mandatory cootchiecooing, she turned her attention back to the mother.

“So how many kids do you have? How old is this little tyke?”

“Oh, he’s five. And also an only child”

“Hmm… so you have ONLY one kid?? I guess thats okay too. But I hope you guys are planning to have at least one more kid, you know. After all, you’ve been married for what? Ten years now?”

Embarassed laughter. “I guess we could always try…”

“Yeah, well – you know what people say when you have only one kid…”

What do people say when you have only one kid??? Poor sperm count? That they were apparently lucky that one time and god knows if not for that, they’d be childless and lets not even go to that kind of situation?

This WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK syndrome, which is a common enough topic in India, doesnt just stop at that poor ONE kid. For all we know, its an offense to:

1. Be a spinster/bachelor after 30 perhaps.

2. Have a live in relationship.

3. Be a childless couple.

4. Get separated.

5. Get divorced.

6. Get re-married.

7. What else? Perhaps think for yourself too?

I knew a chronic bachelor who was hounded by matchmakers all over town in the hope that some lucky girl would one day snag him and cut short his freedom. Another friend of mine’s a happy go lucky 38 year old spinster who doesnt mind categorizing marriage at the bottom of her priority list.

P.S. What will people think, eh? Answer in  # 24 of http://ringchen.com/things-about-me

Singtam

You know, you live in a place for about 5 years and it finally and surprisingly grows on you. I know most people assume that I live in Gangtok since I blog from Sikkim. Nope. Gangtok is about an hour further up north from the place I live in, which is called Singtam. When I first joined work and saw, yes with my own two eyes, this… this dump of a place, the only thought I had was – how the hell do people live in a place like this???

The main market was infested with taxis and the temperature was soooo hot that I nearly melted. Gangtok, on the other hand has a divine climate that makes the entire place centrally air conditioned, as my dad used to say. Singtam, on the other hand was filled with vehicles passing through, villagers in their sunday best come out to do their weekly shopping, alleys filled with a peculiar stench that just wouldnt quit, with – ugh – little eating shacks right next to all the dirt. 

Whose number only preceded by uncountable number of booze shops, (to one of which some of us would be loyal customers for life) Maybe the worst piece of news I’d heard about this place was that it was a haven for crimes. Burglary, murder, take your pick. I had made up my mind then and there that I would commute from Gangtok rather than stay in such a place.

Stay, that I did. Made a lot of new friends and neighbours. Visited the police station on a regular basis. Once the institute bus had a major accident with a biker chap and since I was on the bus at that time, I was the witness by default. Another time, a burglary occurred at my new apartment although the theft was recovered the next day itself. So yes, I made a lot of friends at the police station. Psychologically, it made me feel more secure.  

Til date, I dont know a lot of people in town. The ones who know me as Rinchen mam, from XYZ Institute give me warm smiles which probably translates into – please pass my son/daughter/nephew/relative, good lady. I smile back at them and find it amusing that this is such a small place where everyone knows everyone else.

Two people who meet me in the market and dont let me leave are – my former sweeper, safaikarmachari as they’re called these days. Rawat bhaiya goes on and on relegating stories about bhabhi, mine – not his. I always know the next words coming out of his mouth will be – please give her some work in your office. 

The other guy’s the parking ticket collector. Previously I used to dodge such people in the hope of saving 5 bucks but when I found out that he’s my former maid’s brother, I offer him a little cash once in a while. He always wants me to go to his home and meet his sister and her little kid. Oh and he also doesnt give me a parking ticket anymore. Which is nice.

Then there’s my regular shopkeeper who’s always happy to see me. He probably sees dollar signs where I’m standing because he says things like – please come in, madam, come in. Please take anything you want. Its your own shop. His shop’s name is Fruit Shop. So is the next door’s and the remaining shops after that. I’ve never seen a sign board outside declaring the actual name. Strange.

I’ve also gotten used to the temperature by now. It doesnt seem so bad now and I have begun to hate Gangtok’s bitter wintry cold. Somehow Singtam feels more home to me than my actual home of Gangtok. Its not as advanced as the capital city but its a place where everyone knows my name. Thats reason enough for me. I’ve come to love the place I once could not stand. Stranger things have happened.

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