The bad news is that I watched Woodstock Villa and Sarkar Raj in the same afternoon. The good news (at least for me) is that I lived to write this post. I’ll say one thing for Sikandar: Woodstock Villa isnt really his debut movie. Really. Its actually a three-hour long music album with bits of acting thrown in by so-called debutantes and one Arbaaz Khan who’s now an expert at doing odd bit roles, I think.
The music throughout the film is loud, garishly jing-chak and I felt like I was permanently stuck in a discotheque rather than a dark theatre. The movie is like a slumbering giant that somehow bides its time and wakes up in the last few minutes to reach a most interesting climax that Hitchcock himself would approve.
While Sikandar is so refreshingly different from the regular yuppies who debut on the big screen whether you want them to or not, I expected a more sensible film from the son of Anupam and Kirron Kher. Woodstock Villa turned out to be the exact typical, bollywood masala movie that I dread and want to stay miles away from. I watched this one just for you, Mr & Mrs Kher.
As for Sarkar Raj, I knew it was going to be a most sober movie with no light moments whatsoever even as Abhishek Bachchan stares at the camera dead panned and a loud clanging follows every piece of affecting dialogue delivered by the hero. I was not disappointed, thereby not bothered much.
All three Bachchans were deadly serious in the movie and Abhiskek went the extra mile to finally end his role in it. Sarkar’s 10-minute long monologue at the end of the movie seemed like hours to me as somehow this person and that person was behind this plot and had planned to do this, through him and to god only knows what.
The ending was so unbelievable as Ram Gopal Varma shares his thoughts with the audience when Sarkar orders his grandson back home before the curtains fell. One can guess that he plans to resurrect Abhishek Bachchan in Sarkar-Part III wherein he will play the grandson in a inimitable style unique to Bollywood. Good luck to everyone involved and especially to us, the guinea pig of an audience.
I am often accused of being an Anglophile especially when it comes to voicing out my opinions about tacky hindi movies replete with the usual, loud song & dance routines. Okay, so my favourite hero isnt the effervescent, stuttering Shah Rukh Khan and I cannot help but laugh at silly, melodramatic sob stories like Baghban but that doesnt mean I am anti Indian cinema at large. For me, a non-funny production like ‘Welcome’ just doesnt epitomise the essence of a comedy movie and god forbid I have to watch another disaster like the screechy song or title, I couldnt make out which one - ‘Apne toh apne hote hai….’
I admit a movie such as any of the above doesnt appeal to me at any level and I dont usually put myself through three, sometimes four hours of gruelling rollercoaster of emotions to finally leave the cinema hall thinking, now thats wasted time of my life thats never coming back. I dont like a regular, masala movie because I cannot accept anyone breaking into an abrupt song come what emotion may. Nor can I tolerate a holier-than-thou, self sacrificing lead who lets people walk all over him/her in an effort to show society what an awesome role model one should be like.
Extreme on-screen Gandhigiri doesnt work for me. I’d rather the character be a bit more human, with accepted flaws and more grey shades than the puppet-makers care to portray. I’m more of a Rahul Bose fan and can effortlessly watch a Mr & Mrs Iyer or a Page 3 than I can with a Don or Dhoom 2,3,4 and so on.
I cant think of any recent movies that I’d like to watch, not even Jodha Akbar. I dont mind admitting I have a severe allergy towards idiot movies and I’m finally beginning to wonder the name of the type of audience I belong to.
You know whats worse than watching a bad movie? Discussing that the movie wasnt all that bad with someone who actually liked it. That too on a monday morning. This movie has now made me stay away from Indian cinema for a long time to come.
The only thing that drew me to watch it in the first place was my friend exclaiming “Journey of a woman! I wont be missing this film” So naturally, being the undying supporter of all things female, I landed myself in the middle of a high society ‘exclusive’ call girl’s story while her family happily spends the cash received back home in re-decorating the house.
Rani Mukerji was the wrongest of wrong choice to play the protagonist. I couldnt bring myself to tear my eyes away from her absurd hair styles while on her way to ‘business’. She had zilch personality on screen. Kudos to the Indian cinema think tanks - if the leading lady opts to live or work the wrong path, she’s supposed to be sad, teary-eyed all in a desperate attempt to garner the masses’ sympathy. And to show that while they’re not endorsing her in any manner, she is in the wrong so naturally, she’s half-dead and cant live a normal life.
While I was reminded by my friend early in the morning, that such cases of small town girl falling easy prey to hyenas of the big city and settlling for peddling skin to earn big bucks for her miserable family do happen, yet translating it in reel life does not necessarily work, as was the case here. Did I mention that the opening shot of the movie is a song and dance routine which pretty much tells you that the rest of the movie is going to be as boring, if not more.
Of the saving grace was Konkona Sen Sharma, who plays the sister… although as brilliant as she is, her performance is a bit deja-vu of say, Metro? The rest of the characters are reasonably okay. My main gripe is with the leading lady who is wasted in the movie while we all know how good an actor she is otherwise.
I remember laughing a lot while watching the movie. Not because of the absent comedy but at myself for putting my brain through three hours (?) of non-stop drama that just didnt work for me. And the movie hall wont see me back for a long time now. Tough luck!
Now I am a huge LOST fan currently holding my own record for not missing even one episode this season. I particularly like Desmond Hume and (the late) Ana Lucia over the major characters because they were so intense as well as good looking, in no particular order. I love the way the show springs one surprise after another, ultimately keeping the viewers on their feet. Apparently, the actors themselves dont know whats coming next, is what I read long time back. For me, the creators of LOST were super-genius personified.
Therefore I was unpleasantly reminded that the infallible creators were after all only human post-last night’s episode. One con-couple apparently fight over 8 million dollars worth diamonds and the female (of the species which is supposedly more deadly than the male) poisons the poor dude with a Medusa spider. The guy’s supposed to be paralyzed for 8 hours or so while she can search for the diamonds, which she knows he is hiding from her.
Unfortunately, she also gets bitten by the same spider and is also paralyzed. Apparently the effect of the poison slows down one’s heart rate and its almost impossible for even a doctor to detect the heartbeat of the paralyzed person. The rest of the people proceed to bury them at which time the female’s eyes flash open just when the dirt covers her body - effectively burying them both alive.
LOST or a poorly produced, cheap thriller? I didnt like the episode at all no matter how gruesomely the couple had to die in the script. Hope the next one turns our better than this one.
You said, I said