Archive for the 'Gender blender' Category

An interesting game called 29

Published
by
Rinchen
on October 30, 2007
in Gender blender, Things I cant do without and memoirs
. 2 Comments

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Anyone who knows the card game of 29 can understand the frenzy and mania associated with it, thereby automatically understands what I’m talking about. Someone made the mistake of remarking, “You people dont know how to play 29? Let me teach you the most interesting game in the world” Ever since then, there’s been no looking back on the happy havoc created by the game in our lives.

The game itself is simple enough. Thats what you think in the beginning. Here are the rules for playing the game itself. Although me and my pal have been hopelessly trying to master the game for about four years now with very little luck. An interesting concept of keeping the score is using a black SIX & red SIX which are arranged to display a red heart (or spade or club or diamond) to show a game won. A black pip shows a game lost. If you continue to lose till all the black pips are uncovered, then you keep score with a black FIVE.

To our shame, me and my best bud, who were partners, once continued to play the game, all the while continuously losing till the last black TWO was uncovered and there were no more cards to lose any further. That game went on till the wee hours of the morning, all the while with us refusing to let the other team leave the table at any cost.

Finally, sick and tired of losing the game to the guys so much that a gender-battle went on as soon as anyone mentioned ‘29′, me & my gal pal resorted to signalling which card was which. Then for a while, we started winning although it was only a matter of time before the male radar caught on and used the silent signal to their advantage and win the game themselves!

My partner and me then went and changed the signals for the hearts, diamonds, spades and clubs so much that we ourselves finally got confused and lost the games anyway like how we used to in the beginning. The fates deemed it necessary for us not to win at any cost.

Playing the game till 2 or 3 am continuously was a way of life for the four of us for a long time. We used to celebrate every occasion with a drink and playing this magical game. We used to divide our time between everyone’s places, sleeping overnight just so that we could 29 it.

Sadly, my partner is out of the state till at least April 2008. That means we dont get to play till then but I cannot wait for her to get back. Till then, I dedicate this post in her memory and will probably dream about playing 29 tonight…

Laga chunari mein daarrrggghhh!

Published
by
Rinchen
on October 30, 2007
in Gender blender, Howlers brickbatted and No good
. 8 Comments

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You know whats worse than watching a bad movie? Discussing that the movie wasnt all that bad with someone who actually liked it. That too on a monday morning. This movie has now made me stay away from Indian cinema for a long time to come.

The only thing that drew me to watch it in the first place was my friend exclaiming “Journey of a woman! I wont be missing this film” So naturally, being the undying supporter of all things female, I landed myself in the middle of a high society ‘exclusive’ call girl’s story while her family happily spends the cash received back home in re-decorating the house.

Rani Mukerji was the wrongest of wrong choice to play the protagonist. I couldnt bring myself to tear my eyes away from her absurd hair styles while on her way to ‘business’. She had zilch personality on screen. Kudos to the Indian cinema think tanks - if the leading lady opts to live or work the wrong path, she’s supposed to be sad, teary-eyed all in a desperate attempt to garner the masses’ sympathy. And to show that while they’re not endorsing her in any manner, she is in the wrong so naturally, she’s half-dead and cant live a normal life.

While I was reminded by my friend early in the morning, that such cases of small town girl falling easy prey to hyenas of the big city and settlling for peddling skin to earn big bucks for her miserable family do happen, yet translating it in reel life does not necessarily work, as was the case here. Did I mention that the opening shot of the movie is a song and dance routine which pretty much tells you that the rest of the movie is going to be as boring, if not more.

Of the saving grace was Konkona Sen Sharma, who plays the sister… although as brilliant as she is, her performance is a bit deja-vu of say, Metro? The rest of the characters are reasonably okay. My main gripe is with the leading lady who is wasted in the movie while we all know how good an actor she is otherwise.

I remember laughing a lot while watching the movie. Not because of the absent comedy but at myself for putting my brain through three hours (?) of non-stop drama that just didnt work for me. And the movie hall wont see me back for a long time now. Tough luck!

A driving force

Published
by
Rinchen
on August 8, 2007
in Gender blender, People I admire and memoirs
. 6 Comments

I was in my second year of college when my best pal invited me to a trip to her house in Cochin. So both of us made a five hour journey all the way from Calicut to her place to be greeted very warmly by her wonderful mum, Amma. Looking back, I cant help but wonder what a Super Mom she really is. She’s a doctor by profession and an amazing cook who used to feed us dosas, idlis, puttus, appams and what not at breakfast! Yumm…. Now this is a really big deal since now that I’m also working, I can only manage to provide bread & eggs for breakfast. Thats why I really appreciate her culinary skills & time management especially at rush hour!

Amma is also a very good driver not to mention an excellent mom. I remember her taking us & the girls to Weekender and other places for shopping trips which we simply enjoyed. She drove us all over MG Road in Cochin and I remember thinking Wow! I’m sure there are few moms who’ll indulge their kids (and their friends) so much!

When our trip finally did get over, she drove us to the railway station and packed us a big bundle of marble cake and biryani for lunch. I still remember her clearly standing at the station waving us off, looking so pretty in her sari. What a Complete Woman!

A few years later, when I finished college and got back home, the first thing I demanded my dad was that I wanted to learn how to drive the car. He pointed me to a driving school and paid my fees following which I finally learnt how to drive and there’s been no looking back ever since.

Four years later, here I am today - I believe I am an experienced enough driver, excluding one memory of a terrible crash but yeah, you live and you learn. These days, when I drive my car to office, I cant help but remember Amma who undoubtably inspired me to get driving. Hats off to her and I love her as much for being my real-life idol :)

The Bridget Jones Syndrome

Published
by
Rinchen
on July 21, 2007
in Gender blender, Life as it happens and Movies I love
. 0 Comments

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I watched Bridget Jones get lonely, smoke and drink her heart out all over again and felt an empathy towards that lonely soul like never before. She, who in her own words was heading towards a long-term relationship with a wine bottle, had more issues than she deserved or could handle.

Why does Bridget Jones have such a hang up about being a spinster at 33? Only because most of the people she knows are already hitched, not to mention being in the family way, that ultimately indicated that time was running out for her TICK TOCK, TICK TOCK???

It was more comical than insulting the way Brigdet handles the quintessential question put to her by her much-married friends as to to how come so many girls at the office are still unmarried to which Ms Wit replies - Well, I suppose it doesnt help that underneath our clothes, we’re all covered with scales. HA!

The reason why the Bridget Jones syndrome exists is debatable. Perhaps its these contemptuous married people sniggering at the eternal spinster or whatever. All I know is that a funny, somewhat smart, sweet, single lady - who was inevitably attracted to Mr. Wrong and in the process nearly screwed up her chance with the right guy - is as endearing to me in the movie as I’m sure she’d be in real life.

Are you a feminist?

Published
by
Rinchen
on July 16, 2007
in Gender blender and No good
. 2 Comments

So asked Barkha Dutt in ‘We - The People’ last night in NDTV. She also said that most of the women, when asked this question, will answer, “No, I am not a feminist, BUT…”

The only thing I concluded from that Gender Debate was that people in India, women particularly, are still confused as to what being a feminist means. The dictionary meaning of this term seems to be: a person with a belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes. So why are we hesitant in declaring ourselves (mainly talking to the female of the sexes here) as being a feminist?

Because as said by Shabana Azmi, the notion of feminism is mainly related to the 60’s image of shreiking, bra-burning women who wanted men to be excluded from everything. She said that to this day, that notion still concots itself up whenever we talk about a feminist!

Because sex is a taboo word in our society and female sexuality is not exactly talked or cared about for that matter. Although we may have a more lenient attitude towards a girl child and her unbringing now than decades ago, she is still supposed to toe the line as per her husband’s wishes and so on. I’d like to see anyone deny this.

Because although we may have gained economic equality in our great country (to some extent) we’re still ages behind in gaining any other forms of equality as proved in real life. Otherwise why does female foeticide, dowry deaths and other moral crimes still prevail rampant?

If one is to truly be a feminist, one has to understand that the crux of the problem lies in the deep roots of the Indian society where the male child is naturally given preference over the girl child. To imagine the change the society where the mother tells her daughter, ‘This is not the way a girl should behave’ to the portrayal of the liberated woman, celebrating her sexuality prancing her stuff in lewd music vidoes, feminism has come a long way since.

To answer the quintessential question - Yes, I am a feminist because I do believe God created men & women to exist in harmony on earth and not for one gender to over-evaluate itself and wrestle control of the ‘Who’s-Superior’ mantle.

I am a feminist because I believe that reservation for women in any context will make sure more women will get the right seat, opportunity and a voice that will demand for the good of the common woman. There’s still a long way to go but hopefully we’ll get there someday. I put forth this question for all women in the meantime.

The M word

Published
by
Rinchen
on April 11, 2007
in Gender blender and Life as it happens
. 5 Comments

For some weird reason, I hate it when people address me as Mrs. Dorjee. Its strange that once a female is married, people clamour to associate them with this dreaded word. Its like a cattle brand, right on my forehead, automatically to be used just in case I suddenly dare to take a U-turn and do an uncharacteristic non-Mrs. thing!

Men have it so easy, they’re Mr. before and after marriage. No tell tale signs of being hitched, except maybe one of the Lord-of-the-Rings’ golden band, that too mandatory only in one religion.

I dont think of this condition as being insecure, crazy or simply wishing to be single once again. And my marriage is perfectly fine, thank you. I’m just raving and ranting about my dislike for the M word. The people in my office are sweetly aware of this fact and have been advised to call me Ms Dorjee if they do want to address me officially.

And also, I have retained my maiden name. Not much consolation but my long middle name, so bestowed upon in the rememberance of my mum is still intact, whether I’m Mrs or Ms. You can imagine my amusement when strangers blabber on, “Hi, Mrs Dorjee, how is Mr Dorjee?” I then enquire if they’re asking about my brother.