My name is Winkie. I am about 2 feet high and people usually seem to cross to the other side of the road as soon as they see me coming. I dont know why. I am friendly enough although I sometimes like to bark at random noises at equally random times not ruled by the clock. I can tell when its inopportune because thats when usually a slipper first comes hurling straight at me. Thats my cue to hush up or else a sleepy yet pissed being emerges out of bed to beat me up.
I spend most of my life staring at my owner while she spends most of hers ignoring me. Actually, she spends most of her life staring fixedly at an idiot box, while I can never imagine whats so important to keep her glued there for hours. I cant complain though - I’ve got an easy life. I consider getting two meals a day & sleeping as much as I want a good deal. Speaking of food, I’ve got my owner thinking that I wont eat my food without some meat in it. Heh heh. Some of the canine privileges that humans will give in to easily. I respect my owner for the fact that she includes meat in my diet irrespective of her financial condition at any period of the month.
She also tries to take me for my daily walk as much as possible. In fact, I wake up at the crack of dawn myself after which it is a long wait for sleepy head to finally wake up. If all goes well, we walk unless there’s the inevitable excuse of weather, hangovers and whatever it is that renders people unusable.
I never went to obedience school. My owner uses three different commands for the same thing and she thinks I’m an idiot! I’m never sure what to do when she says ‘Come, Chalo & Aja‘. I know ‘Sit‘ but am usually lazy enough to make her repeat it several times just for the heck of it. I also know ‘Shake hand‘ although transferring human traditions on dogs isnt very high on my agenda. Unless its for an edible treat for which I can shake both hands and more.
I dont have any other animal friends where I live, not counting the strays that get shooed away from the neighbourhood. Last time I tried to befriend the cat, I learnt about their retractable claws. I once tried to make friends with a goat that wandered in from somewhere but instead got introduced to one head butt of a really angry creature. My owner then smacked a stone right between the eyes of that goat but it stared back at her so much that she quickly left the scene with me in tandem.
This winter posed a crucial problem for me, sleeping arrangement wise. Since my owner no longer lets me sleep on the bed, I moved in to the sofa at night. She doesnt approve of this and always shoos me off it whenever she sees me. Thats why, I pretend to sleep on the old blanket on the floor and sneak up quietly on the sofa when she’s fast asleep. She has no clue whats going on and always seems puzzled to see the sofa covering all messed up in the morning, not to mention why the sofa cushions are on the floor. I am so clever, I should be a detective.
nice post. make it a monthly feature to report on things from winkie’s perspective.
Nice post. I liked the subtle humour that you have managed to bring into every paragraph.
I have a dog, am sure all that goes in his head is ‘food, food, food…I want more food’
@t: A good idea. Thanks! (PS: Long time, no see)
@Vinay: Thanks. Ironically, I wrote this post when I was quite upset actually
@Shradha: You also have a dog! I’m beginning to like you more and more.
Nice post. Don’t you think comments starting with “Nice post” are quite commonplace nowadays?
Back to your post, good creative work. As a matter of fact, the best humor comes out when someone is upset and writes it on a whim. At least, it is the case with me.
Dont you think a somewhat vain author would never tire of hearing ‘nice post’
Thanks, Deepak. Good observation. I will wipe away my tears and write like mad next time onwards
@Deepak: point noted. Next time, I’ll use “Great post”.
@Vinay: I dont have a LiveJournal id and when I list the openID as my blog url, it says: The provided URL doesn’t declare its OpenID identity server. How can I comment on your blog?
(By now, people reading this question can fairly assimilate how tech savvy I am, which is really not the purpose of my Q to begin with)
Lovely
If only they could talk, I am sure they would make us all shut up!
Btw, can you please ask Winke what is it in them that scares poor ol’ girls like me?
Yes, I will GWBE. And Winkie’s probably going to reply that in the next month’s issue
Anonymous comment with “-Rinchen” as the last line
Of course
Btw, the prev anon comment of ‘Simon Taufel is such a hunk’ was me.
@Vinay (about the OpenID suggestion): Nice! (without a “post”, of course)
Arrggghhh!!!! I had to re-read that sentence like three times to finally understand
Here’s a fix from Deepak to your OpenID problem
You don’t have the proper openID delegation. Download and install a WP plugin called Yadis, and follow the instructions of that plugin.