14 things that took me over 50 years to learn by Dave Barry

Published
by
Rinchen
on August 17, 2007
in From here & there
.
  1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
  2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”
  3. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
  4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
  5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
  6. Nobody cares if you can’t DANCE well. Just get up and dance.
  7. Never lick a steak knife.
  8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
  9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
  10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
  11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
  12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
  13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
  14. Your friends love you anyway.

3 Responses to “14 things that took me over 50 years to learn by Dave Barry”

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  1. 1 Shaliya
    August 21, 2007 at 09:20 am

    Good one!
    Here are a few things that took me over 27 years to learn -
    1. A peg of fine whisky after a hard-days work is the perfect companion
    2. Men in any case have only one muscle working
    3. Someone will be kidding you if he says, ‘I hate selfishness and hypocrisy’. No one believes in self-hatred after all!
    4. The first grey hair always smiles at you and says - ‘Welcome to the world!’. :)

  2. 2 Shaliya
    August 21, 2007 at 09:29 am

    and the last one of course is -
    5. The famous teaching or saying, ‘You fall in love only once’ is a big lie!

  3. 3 Rinchen
    August 21, 2007 at 10:52 am

    Can I add some more? (make it 28 years for me :( )

    6. Life’s one big choice. You choose, you learn.
    7. Friends equal life support & they dont judge you. Period.
    8. Laughter is indeed the best medicine.
    9. Sometimes its fun not to grow up. That way, you can get away with almost anything :)
    10. Its not so difficult to be carefree and without a thought to the world. First thing you do is burn all your clothes. (I’m not joking)

    Hehehe….

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