I hate family gatherings. The last time I was in the midst of one, at least six people commented on the way I looked, talked or even breathed for all I knew. They had a gala time being boisterous and smart mouthing about most things which they’d never be able to say out loud in the real world, at least thats what I inferred.
Almost every person beckoned me over and asked – Did you recognize me? Heck, I dont even recognize the same person I met six months back and we’re talking about years and years of reunion here. The only option was to bare my teeth and nod furiously saying – Of course I do! How can I forget.
For instance, I was summoned by someone who’s my great aunt, when in truth I couldnt tell the nature of our relationship to save my life. I walked up to her and a couple of her friends sitting inside, assumed what I felt was a respectable position and then started getting grilled about my life since I was born to 30 years hence.
Then suddenly, this lady at her right snorts out of the blue – Hah, now she doesnt recognize me! Do you know who I am? DO YOU!?!
I assured her that I didnt.
(I didnt want to start knowing her anyway since she seemed to get real angry by this point)
She kept scowling at me while saying – You people dont even know who I am. Huh! You dont know anything at all!
By this time, she’s twisted her body so much trying to face away from me in anger while I apologise – Erm, I’m sorry… for not knowing… who you are… I really am.
And suddenly this one lady to the left of my great aunt exclaims – Well at least, you know who I am, dont you???
I took pity on her overtly eager face and decided not to ruin her happiness so I agreed that I did, while in fact I didnt; and in the end, she had a big smile on her face while I exited from them all in a hurry.
And just when I thought all was lost, I got to know that an old childhood friend was also present there. So I went in search of her excitedly, hoping to revisit the past and walk down memory lane. When I finally met her, she gaped at me, gave me an awkward laugh and announced that she couldnt believe it was really me. After a short silence (and several awkward laughs later), I lunged for the door and excused myself from the affair saying I’ve got a long way to travel back home.
These things are just not my cup of tea. And I doubt I would be returning to another one for a long time to come. I figure, if I want to be talked about, ogled at and be at the receiving end of smart comments, I’ve already got an Orkut profile for that. I believe that real life’s meant for something more substantial. Like blogging. So here’s the post.
I figure if I want to be talked about, ogled at and be at the receiving end of smart comments, I’ve already got an Orkut profile for that.
Very nice and very true.. Oops.. In the positive sense OK..
What not masks we have to put for conforming to the norms! Good post.
If you deal with them individually, maybe in their home, they would be quite courteous. But in groups, I guess they assume that they have the license to insult. Collective (un?)responsibility has always worked like that, I guess.
I know exactly what your are talking about, family gatherings are such a pain
been through it so many times. I hate it when they comment , “apai gori bhayecha”, they fail to realize that i don’t want to be gori 
and I am the same as I was 5 years back. But everyone feels they are paying the ultimate compliment. I just stand there with a stupid grin, counting the minute till I can make a polite escape.
Yeah, Sree – masks with pearly white teeth
How true, DI. Collective (un)responsibility and license to insult are weapons of “mask” destruction.
Somebody stop me, I’m going haywire with the metaphors!
Vidya, for once I’d like to really blast someone right in the middle of all the making fun business. I’d like to see their faces then
And if I had heard one more person comment about putting on weight, I would have ended up sitting on them
Finally something which I can completely disagree with you on.
I absolutely love family gatherings, and reunions.
Yes, it is true that people tend to group together and making fun of others like you said. If they give some smart comment, I quip with a smarter one. My mom has a phrase for that. (although she’s not very happy with my attitude) “Honestly rude, and rudely honest”.
I just will be honest with them. If they find it rude, they won’t come bugging me again, which is exactly what I want. If they don’t, they’re cool, and we continue small talk, without all the unnecessary do-you-recognize-me talk, which is again exactly what I want.
“Blasting someone right in the middle of making fun business” – that’s exactly what I’m talking about. Some people just get annoyed and go away, not to bug you again. Some people just blush.
Perhaps I find it tolerable, firstly because after a few initial bumps and bruises, I tend to be overwhelmingly talkative to any person, and secondly because I was bullied by my cousins all my childhood.
One more thing I wanted to add, about one of the comments.
If you feel insulted by their making fun of you, that’s just your insecurity talking.
The good news is: You’ve been agreeing with me all this while
The bad news is: I HATE ‘EM. I really do. Aaaaaaaa…. No amount of logic is going to make me change my mind.
Now you got insecure AND childish behavior up front. (Am sticking out my tongue for good measure)
he he … i got to agree with deepak. i luv family gatherings too and luv talking to older people. its no big deal to allow them a li’l fun
and most of them wudnt mind a li’l of it from us, either.
may be a big smile and friendliness will help next time. thats the least most of them wud want from us. yeah … i did have occassions where I was caught with “Do u know who i am”, and forced to say “Yeah yeah …. I do” only to get a follow up question of “Ok … then tell me who i am …” … ooops. All I managed is a bigger smile
Its ok ring, its no big deal to look a li’l stupid, unless u think otherwise 
Rinchen, I love family get togethers, I make sure i am with a more connected person who ll enlighten me abt the person moments before they approach me , if that doesnt work my wing-man would prompt me when i am in the hotseat n haven’t got a clue,
That makes it three all. We all agree to disagree, that much’s for sure